Page 131 of When We Were Young

The boyish grin he’s wearing distracts me from the anxiety that rises in me around having this conversation with Simon.

“Um, I think so. Probably?”

“I think you are. You kiss like you are.” Simon’s matter-of-fact tone and his nonchalant shrug make him seem completely unbothered.

Before I can do anything else, Holden takes a seat next to my son.

“Is that okay with you?” There’s a hint of endearing nervousness in Holden’s voice that isn’t usually present.

I sit down with them.

Simon looks between Holden and me, then smiles. “Yeah. I can tell you like each other—besides just the kissing, I mean.” He glances at Holden. “You’re nice to Mom, and you don’t be mean to me or hurt her like he⁠—”

Simon’s eyes bulge and fly to mine as if he realizes he’s talking about something we don’t usually bring up.

“Sorry, Mama.”

I paint a smile on my face. “It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

My eyes dart to Holden’s, and his gaze bores into me.

Simon’s attention—thank goodness—becomes momentarily occupied by something on his tablet.

I shake my head just enough that Holden sees it. Now isn’t the time to have this discussion. Holden doesn’t look away from me, even for a second.

“I promise no one will hurt either of you as far as I can help it. I’ll stop at nothing to protect you both. Nothing.”

The intensity of his stare is too much, and I rise.

“Uh, I’m going to pull the cupcakes out of the oven to cool. You guys should get going soon.”

There’s a get-together, an end-of-the-season barbecue, at Tillie and Henry’s. Simon’s been bursting at the seams to get over there again to play with Layla’s animals.

“Simon, why don’t you run upstairs, wash your hands and face, and change your shirt, too? You’ve got cupcake batter on that one.”

I boop him on the nose, and he playfully swats me away.

“Okay.”

Simon shuts off his tablet and gathers his things, then stands. He glances over at Holden and looks him up and down.

“Holden, you should probably keep some clothes here, too, because you’re kind of messy like me.”

Holden glances down at his shirt, and his face falls.

“Darn it. How did I end up so messy, too?”

“‘Cause you were trying to eat the frosting after Mom made it, and it spilled on you when she caught you.”

Holden grins. “It was worth it.”

“Okay, you guys. Make sure you say goodbye to me before you go. Now scoot, Simon. You don’t want to be late.”

When Holden follows Simon upstairs, I think I’m safe from having to answer questions about Simon’s disclosure. I try not to think about that day if I can avoid it.

I’m wrong. Within two minutes, he’s back.

Holden approaches me from behind and wraps his arms around me. He kisses the top of my head.