Page 92 of I’m Dreaming of a New York Christmas

And that was the moment I knew I was in trouble.

Chapter 20

Will was gone by one thirty, leaving me half an hour – probably longer, knowing Mum and Anneka – to pull myself together before I was due to meet them at the main touristy entrance to the Empire State Building.

Just before he’d left, Will and I had made loose, polite plans to meet up for a big dinner with Laurie and Ben – and Briony – in the new year, but I couldn’t see it happening. Not because I wouldn’t be able to face it, but because I couldn’t think of a single reason to do it. I had, however, messaged Laurie to put her mind at ease:

Flora:

Me and Will just met up to clear the air.

Laurie:

OMG! Sorry, I’d give you a call but I’m in the middle of putting the twins to bed. Tell me everything.

Laurie:

(only if you want to)

Flora:

I totally want to. But first I need to say sorry for snapping at you yesterday.

Laurie:

It’s in the past. Spill.

I spent the remainder of my time before meeting Mum and Anneka sending dozens of messages to Laurie to fill her in. Her final question got me thinking:

Laurie:

I know going to New York was the last thing you wanted to do, but… are you kinda glad you did?

Two days ago, I’d have replied YES in uppercase with a shit ton of exclamation marks. But Laurie didn’t even know Ethan existed yet – that was definitely information to hold back for an in-person conversation. And, after my row with Anneka, I was far less convinced that coming here was a wise thing to have done. Right now, I felt more exhausted and emotionally wrung-out than I had done at any point in the last six months.

Flora:

I could give you a very complicated answer to that question, but I’ve gotta run.

Laurie:

Intriguing. Have a great day, you New York City slicker!

Flora:

Cringing so hard rn x

Mum and Anneka were forty minutes late, of course, by which time a dense layer of fog had descended, entirely obscuring the tops of the tallest skyscrapers surrounding me. I was relieved to see Mum up and about, although it was clear she still wasn’t feeling 100 per cent. Her Central Park hiking branch – fast becoming this trip’s barometer for her energy levels and state of mind – was noticeably absent.

Anneka smiled briefly in my direction as we queued for tickets – because, of course, they hadn’t thought to pre-book them. Then again, neither had I. Other than that, she said nothing, forcing Mum to fill the airspace with her observations about our fellow tourists. My repeated pleas that she speak at a lower volume – especially since there were surprisingly few people in the queue – were ignored.

I decided not to say anything about what had just gone down with Will mere metres away and moments ago – it would only result in an interrogation and I didn’t have the energy to handle it.

‘Oh, and I’ve booked us tickets for Radio City Music Hall tomorrow evening.’ Mum’s casual announcement yanked me out of my daze.

Tomorrow evening? But what about the wedding?

‘Oh! Tickets for what?’ I shot a panicked glance at Anneka, but she was inspecting her nails.