Page 3 of I’m Dreaming of a New York Christmas

‘Ben. God love him.’

‘Weirdly, I do.’

I nudged her lovingly. Laurie, Ben, Will and I had moved to London together after university – me and Will having both secured graduate positions with the civil service – the four of us sharing a flat for a few years before Laurie and Ben got engaged and found their own place. Eventually, they’d moved to Bath while Laurie was pregnant to be nearer family. We’d missed them terribly.

‘So how are you really doing, Flor?’

Right on schedule.

‘Honestly, I’m doing okay. Like, I still have bad days. But I think this fortnight to myself is exactly what I need. I haven’t really felt settled since… everything. I think I’m finally ready to tie up some loose ends, rustle up some work for the new year and crack on with some long-overdue life admin.’

Including registering with a new GP and making sure I didn’t lose my hard-fought-for place on the ASD assessment waiting list.

‘And, most importantly, lord it up in this lush flat with one of the world’s most stunning cities on your doorstep.’

‘Basically, yeah.’

‘I’m so jealous.’

‘The grass is always greener and all that,’ I said, with a sad smile.

Laurie slung an arm around me and held me close.

‘You’re still in touch with him, I’m guessing?’ I mumbled, the question easier to ask while my face was hidden in the depths of her jumper.

Laurie exhaled through her nose. ‘Do you really want to know?’

I swallowed, weighing up the pros and cons of opening this Pandora’s box. Will and I had had zero contact since he’d walked out just before our wedding. And, despite the fact that it had already been six months, I still wasn’t convinced I was ready to go there.

‘Yeah, fair question. Perhaps we can revisit it in January?’ I suggested.

‘Let’s do that. New year, new start, hmm?’ she murmured into the top of my head, giving me a squeeze.

I performed an exaggerated gag and heave at the cliché, causing Laurie to snort.

‘I mean, let’s not get hung up on the social construct of the Gregorian calendar…’ I said, sitting upright.

‘But…?’

‘But, yeah: new year, new start.’

‘Well, let’s cheers to that.’

We clinked glasses again and, after a slurp, I went to check on the soup and set the nano-table next to the window.

‘Flor?’

‘Mmm?’

‘I’m so proud of you.’

‘Laurie. Don’t.’

‘What? I’m allowed to say sentimental shit to my best friend.’

‘Fine, I’ll allow it – just this once. But look at me: I’m not exactly thriving. I live in a loft with a skin-shedding stranger, I spend more time talking to a cat than other humans and my career looks like it could dissolve any day now thanks to generative AI’s terrifying ability to churn out speeches.’

‘Baby steps. Think back to just a few months ago.’