Page 69 of Fit for a King

“Do you come here a lot?”

“Not as much as I used to. When my mother passed, we just…” I trailed off as I looked out over the acres of land sprawled out around us, the sun setting behind the bounty of trees. “She loved it here. She said Montclair was where the crown lived, but Aldermere was where she wanted to raise a family.”

“What was she like?”

I’d heard my mother’s name many times on this trip, so many people remembering her as the queen, but no one ever talked about the woman I knew. The mother, the wife, gone far too soon.

Of course Noah would be different.

I reached for the bottle of wine, realizing I’d left our glasses empty, and poured some of the red.

“Oh, I shouldn’t,” he said.

“Why? You don’t like wine?”

“I’m on duty.”

“No.” I shook my head and settled back into my seat. “You’re at dinner, with me.” He inclined his head as I picked my glass up to take a sip, thinking over my words before finally saying, “Mum was the heart of the family.”

Noah remained silent, allowing me the time to remember the way her smile would warm my heart. The way her voice made everything better, and the way a hug from her made me feel safer than anything else.

Losing her at such a young age had been unbearable. The heartbreak was something I never thought I’d recover from, and even now, all these years later, my heart still ached whenever someone told me I resembled her or that she’d be proud of the man I’d become.

I’d like to think that was true. I just wasn’t sure it was.

“My father, he was a cold man. My mother was the warmth. When she died, so did the happiness at Montclair. The palace became a shell of itself, in a way.”

“You weren’t close with your father?”

“I was close to him, but only in proximity.” I took another sip and offered a thin smile. “He was too busy molding me to love me.”

Noah placed his glass on the table and leaned forward, offering his hand. “I’m sorry.”

I slipped mine into his, drawing comfort from his touch. “Don’t be. I’m aware of how lucky our family is. How privileged. A lot of people lose their parents.”

“But most get to grieve for them in private.”

“That’s true. But I can hardly begrudge the kingdom for mourning the loss of their king and queen.”

“Maybe not. But I can begrudge the tradition that says it has to be so soon. The family deserves a moment of peace.”

“Not when the family belongs to the people.” I gave a soft smile. “But thank you. It’s nice to think of her, to be able to talk about her. She would’ve loved you.”

Noah grinned as he moved back to his seat and picked up his spoon. “I have a confession to make.”

I took a bite of stew and raised a brow. “And what might that be?”

“I used to think your mother was the most beautiful person in the world. All that dark, flowing hair and her stunning blue eyes…”

His words weren’t all that shocking—many had written of my mum’s beauty and fashion sense. But the soft emotion that swirled in Noah’s eyes made something in my chest tighten.

“But now I know I was wrong. You’re the most beautiful person, Nicholas Valemont, and she would be extremely proud of the man you are today. The man you have become.”

Noah’s face blurred slightly as my eyes misted over, his words finding their way to my heart and warming it. Not many knew the real me; I didn’t allow them that close. But Noah was chipping away at every single wall I’d ever built.

“I like to think so. She always said that when everything feels hopeless, close your eyes and remember. Remember what makes you the happiest, what makes you smile. Remember that feeling of joy.” I smiled at the thought. “Memories make you dream again, help you imagine someplace better. So talking about her, remembering the way she used to laugh whenever she got to ride her horse bareback across the fields here… It energizes me. It heals something in me, and so do you.”

I hadn’t meant for things to get so heavy between us. I’d wanted this to be a romantic dinner where we could enjoy one another, and suddenly it felt as though I was laying all my burdens down on him.