Page 23 of Holden

I smile thinly. “Maybe I should back up. Let’s go back to the beginning—why did you start the company?”

Holden takes a bite of his calamari. “After Roger Moorehouse…” Holden pauses, and clears his throat.

I focus on keeping a blank face. After last night, I sense he’s gauging how to phrase the words, but I don’t want him to hold back. Not this time

“Go on. I’m listening.”

He takes a deep breath and continues. “After that monster killed himself, Lucas, Mason and I forged a bond. We vowed we’d always stay close…be there for each other. Like brothers.”

There’s a hint of bitterness behind the words that doesn’t quite mesh with the story, but I resist the urge to press him on it. It’s common knowledge that Lucas left the company to start a newspaper with his girlfriend, but I heard the split was amicable. Is it possible there’s more to it?

Does it matter? It shouldn’t—not for me.

“Surviving that ordeal would certainly stir up some intense feelings,” I say, struggling to say something that doesn’t sound pacifying or lame. Showing too much concern would be suspicious, not enough and I’m heartless. A tricky balance.

Holden nods curtly, and then flags down our server, who is quick to attend to our needs. My gaze flickers to my watch. Ten minutes have already passed, and I’ve barely scratched the surface of my question. Every tick of the clock is like a bomb, counting down. My nerves are like livewires.

“We’ll have the Muscovy Duck for our first course,” Holden says, confidently.

My stomach twists. “Actually, I’d prefer the tuna.” I smile sweetly. “Sorry, I’m not a fan of…bird dishes.”

Holden’s eyes twinkle. “Not even chicken?”

I shrug. “Nope. I know it’s weird.”

Sort of. We used to keep chickens when I was a kid. Dad would take me out to the barn to collect eggs and feathers. I’d watch the birds through the thin bars of the coup, pecking at insects and whatever grain my father tossed at them. Sometimes, he would come in from the barns covered in blood, and the stench of it clings to me even now, so many years later. Maybe that was a hint into my father’s penchant for violence—he slaughtered those birds without remorse, while I can’t step on a stupid spider without the gut-wrenching stab of guilt. My mother whispers over my shoulder: See, sweetheart, you are nothing like him.

I want to believe that. Damn it, I do.

Holden’s sigh draws me back to the moment. “In answer to your question, our brotherhood held through college, as one might expect. By the time we graduated, we knew—or maybe it was just assumed—that we’d find a way to work together. Stay together.”

He leans back in his chair and runs his finger along the edge of his plate.

“Forgive my ignorance, but what skills are required to run a hedge fund company?”

“Finance, for starters,” Holden says. He dips the last piece of calamari in the peach colored sauce and holds it out, as if in offering. I quickly shake my head. He lifts an eyebrow and laughs. “Not a seafood fan either?”

“Nothing with former tentacles.”

“Your loss,” he says, and pops the deep-fried thing in his mouth. Despite being grossed out by the food, I am strangely mesmerized by the way Holden chews, swallows, and then licks his lips in clear satisfaction. I’m so caught up in staring that I actually flinch when the waiter arrives with our “first course.”

The aroma of tuna is overwhelming, but not fishy—an exotic mix of ginger and other spices I can’t begin to guess. I breathe it all in, unable to contain the smile that spreads across my cheeks. My gaze wanders to Holden’s plate and I have to admit, the duck looks exquisite.

He lifts his wine glass in a toast. “To our agreement, then?”

I hesitate. Why not? What the hell do I have to lose? I abandon my reservations, vowing to enjoy the rest of this evening, and lift my glass to clink against his. We sip, swallow, and set our drinks down in unison. I try really hard not to read into that, the fact that we’re so in sync.

I unwrap my utensils from the black linen napkin and spread it across my lap. Light glints off the silverware like glittering diamonds.

Holden waits for me to take a bite from my meal, staring at me like an expectant parent. And damn it, that small but perfect act of chivalry reels me back to my fantasy. I imagine that I’m just a girl, on a first date with the love of her life.

Who just happens to be the most eligible bachelor in the city.

My throat goes dry.

It’s a silly dream, because these kinds of things don’t happen to girls like me. Girls whose fathers have murdered innocent children…

“Obviously we each had some kind of business sense,” Holden says, oblivious to my deepening internal struggle. “I’ve always had an interest in the stock markets,” he says. “Mason too. Lucas…” Holden chuckles. “I think he just came along for the ride. Anyway, we made a couple of good deals right off the bat and…”