Page 27 of Lucas

The blush spreads from my face to my neck, thinking about how our evening ended. As predicted it began with very little reading, and culminated with a whole lotta sex. So far, I’m matching his insatiable sexual appetite like a pro, but it’s only the third date of a seven-day commitment, and my body has begun to ache.

I swallow the bitter taste of sadness that always comes when I think about the countdown that in the end will define our relationship, one way or the other. Either we’ll stay together, or call it quits. Tough to read which way Lucas leans, but my heart is pretty much an open novel.

Lucas hands me what’s left of our shared Unicorn Frappuccino—fitting given our location—and licks his lips. I can almost guarantee they’d taste like cotton candy, but I stop just shy of asking for confirmation.

“Tonight is probably for both of us too,” he concedes.

I’ve never been to Jane’s Carousel, but the popular tourist locale caters not only to my love of horses and romance, but also to Lucas’s longing to hang on to his youth. Take away his obscene wealth, and Lucas and I share much more in common than I could have imagined. I think he’s starting to realize that too.

An unexpected smile radiates from my soul.

“You’re beautiful,” Lucas says, for what must be the hundredth time this week. It’s adorable that he zeroes in on me, but my vision is far broader. From my position on this bucking white stallion, the Manhattan skyscrapers in the distance twinkle under a black sky dotted with tiny diamond-shaped stars. A full moon hangs in the background, postcard perfect. The kind of view photographers around the world would pay a million bucks to capture.

“It must have cost a fortune for you to rent this place out,” I say, almost wistfully. My voice echoes in the building, empty save for us and the two dozen or so carousel horses that spin round and round in lazy circles.

Lucas chuckles. “Tickets are two dollars each, darlin’.”

During normal operating hours, yes. But it’s almost ten o’clock, four hours past shutdown. Minutes before we arrived, Lucas made a personal call to the event operator, offering him an undisclosed amount of money to let us in. I squint into the twinkling lights in search of him now, but Lucas must have also paid him to disappear for a few hours.

For a guy that seems to shy about commitment, Lucas doesn’t appear to struggle with romance. Yet another way he’s different from any guy I’ve ever known.

I study his silhouette as he winds his way through the carousel, brushing his hands against the brightly-colored bridles, or grabbing on to the poles that root the horses in place. His hands curve over their manes and cup their fake chins. It’s clear he’s as mesmerized by them now as he was a child.

The soft carnival music drifting from the overhead speakers takes me back to my youth as well, where my cousin and I would head down to the local fair to ride the Zipper, flirt with the carnies, and stuff our faces with cotton candy.

I slurp the rest of the Unicorn drink, marveling at how closely Lucas has recreated one of my fondest memories with this evening’s adventures. The fluttering in my stomach once again begins to churn.

“This is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me,” I say, when Lucas finally makes his way back to me and my stallion.

He straddles an adjacent horse backwards. “That’s what you said last night.”

I smile. “No pressure for tomorrow then.”

He shifts his hips forward, presumably to get more comfortable, but my eyes drift to his groin. The twittering in my chest moves down toward my pelvis, as I feel myself getting aroused. It’s like that all the time with Lucas—sometimes when he’s not even in the room. I’ll catch myself fantasizing about him in the shower, at my desk, standing in line at the check-out, talking to sources on the phone. He is all consuming.

I sink my teeth into my bottom lip, making sure he notices. It’s overtly sexual, and to my pleasure, he catches on quick.

His expression turns mischievous. “You are not insinuating what I think.”

I wink and he gasps.

“Think of the children!”

I throw my head back and laugh, fully enjoying yet another unexpected evening of laughter and fun. I’m surprised at how easy it is when we’re together, how everything ebbs and flows with the normal tides of a fresh relationship. Almost normal.

Except that nothing about us is normal or easy.

In four days, this charade ends. It’s silly how fixated I am on the end, counting the days and hours, even minutes, with ridiculous obsession.

I blink back a tear and avert my gaze, pretending to be mesmerized by the sprawling skyline of tall buildings and bright lights. The Big Apple is captivating, but that’s not what has my emotions twisted into knots. I like Lucas, probably more than I should. And I think—maybe—that he likes me just as much.

Any joy that brings me is tempered by the fact that there is no possible way for us to be together. I’ve considered every angle, every possible solution, and if he isn’t willing to intercede on his company’s part in the lawsuit, there’s really no point in us moving forward. Being with him would be a betrayal to my friends, my company, to myself.

Lucas reaches across the space between us to take my hand. “Penny for your thoughts?”

I cough out a forced laugh. “That’s all you’ve got, big spender?”

“I’ll go as high as a million bucks, but after that, I’ll need to see some flesh.”