Page 24 of Bound in Ashes

“What is it?” I said.

“I don’t know if this is defensible,” he said.

“There’s space,” I said, internally cringing at the useless interjection.

“Yeah, there’s space,” Jack said noncommittally.

“You don’t say that like it’s a good thing.”

“It may not be,” he responded.

Not the kind of comfort I was looking for, but this was Jack I was dealing with.

“Meaning?” I said tentatively.

“Meaning we play it out, see what comes.”

“And what if this place doesn’t work?” I hated to even speak the words, but the question, the fear, hung there, refusing to be denied.

Then Jack did the most unexpected thing. He brushed his thumb across my cheek. “I already told you, Counselor. We figure out what comes next. And you don’t get to do that without me. Not anymore.”

Jack

I let my thumb brush her cheek one more time before forcing myself to step back, my hands dropping to my sides. The evening air turned cooler and felt heavy on my skin.

Asia’s gaze searched mine, and for a moment, I saw something in her eyes that looked like disappointment. In me? In the fact that I’d broken contact? I didn’t know because as quickly as I saw it, it was gone.

Standing on the worn wood of her uncle’s porch, I again found myself thrust into unfamiliar territory.

I still felt her body under my hands.

Tasted her on my lips.

Saw the marks I left, proof that she was mine.

The smart thing would be to put distance between us and focus on logistics, survival, on how the fuck I was going to keep everyone alive.

But all I could think about was dragging her back into the shed and fucking her again, and again, and again until she understood what mine meant.

This wasn’t easy like killing zombies, reading terrain, assessing threats, and tactical advantages.

This was inside me, the desire—need—to touch her and the determination to keep my distance was un-fucking-precedented.

Every instinct told me to pull her close and promise her that everything would be fine. But that would make me worse than weak.

It would make me a liar.

I’d know for a long time that there was no such thing as a safe haven. Just places that hadn’t turned dangerous yet.

But I wanted that for Asia. I wanted her to be okay.

I needed her to be okay.

My hands clenched involuntarily as I thought back to two short hours ago.

I was sure that I wasn’t going to make it.

Didn’t bother me at all.