Page 80 of Enemy of the Heart

The hole Mercer’s absence left in my heart continues to ache, but I’ve been slowly stitching the wound closed, knowing it’ll be an internal blemish until I see him again. I hardly remember the last nine months. I think I cried for months straight. Then, there was the period when I wanted to kill everyone. Sean’s been holding us—me—together like the most treasured glue.

Once I moved past the sorrow stage of grief, it was a daily battle not to go after Conall myself. Lifting my Wildey and pulling the trigger so the bullet lodged in his brain became my greatest fantasy. The only thing that stopped me was the promise I made to my brother. I can’t let him down. Not even in death. It’s the last thing I can do for him.

After Mercer’s funeral, where I buried him in the same elegantly macabre Koskinen plot, I sat at the plot, staring at their headstones, wondering if our parents found Mercer in the afterlife and what their reunion might’ve looked like. Äiti would’ve wept with joy and sorrow as she threw her arms around my brother. Isä would’ve been stone-faced, but the tremble in his hand would’ve given him away. In some ways, I wish I could have been there. I miss them.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the word family lately and what mine will look like now that my brother is gone. When I mentioned it to Sean, he said we’d build our own.

We agreed neither of us were necessarily the marrying type, so we settled on something else, something a bit more permanent. Ink fades, marriage licenses can burn, and the government can forget you even exist, but scars are forever—at least until the skin slides from our bones.

Now, Jace holds the red-hot fire poker I had made over the coals, his gloved hand twisting it around as he asks, “Do you want me to say a few words to make this official or whatever?”

I snort a laugh, but Jace charges on. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered—”

“Shut the fuck up,” I snap congenially, without any real bite. “Or I’ll burn my initials into your arse, and you’ll have to explain to every girl you fuck for the rest of your life that you’re my bitch.”

He shrugs. “I’ll make them kiss it better.”

“For fuck’s sake,” Sean grumbles before lunging for his friend. I intercede just in time, pressing my palms to his bare chest, his heart thumping beneath my hand.

Sliding my hands over his warm, tanned skin, I smile sweetly up at the man I love. Dropping my voice, I purr, “Why don’t you get on your knees for me?”

A growl rumbles in his chest as he drops to the ground.

Like his life has no value, Jace pokes the beast once more. “Need something to bite down on, big boy?”

Whipping my head around, I meet those warm caramel-colored eyes and snap, “Quit. You’re ruining the moment, Jace.”

Holding up his hands in supplication, he appears a bit sheepish as I take the poker from him, the end glowing orange and white. We invited him to be here because we couldn’t imagine doing this without him as a witness. I’m beginning to wonder if that was such a good idea.

Kneeling before me, Sean clasps his hands behind his back and flexes his jaw as he grinds his teeth in anticipation. Jace moves to stand behind Sean and grips him by the shoulders to prevent him from moving. His ample biceps and forearms bulge with the effort to stay still.

Stepping up to him, his chest rises with an intake of breath, and a gentle smile touches my lips. “I love you, Sean Diggory.”

The smell of Sean’s flesh burning permeates the air as I press the poker to his chest, over his heart. He grunts in pain when I pull the poker back and reveal a nasty, angry-looking wound, but one that sets my soul ablaze.

His breaths are ragged, but his lips tip up as he studies the bold, block letters LIK permanently stamped over his heart.

When his gaze slides to mine, the physical pain evident from a moment ago is long gone, replaced with only pride and devotion.

If my brother were here, he’d think this situation was completely absurd, but I can practically see him smiling in my mind.

When he catches his breath, he stretches to his full height and winces with the movement. I reach for the hem of my black T-shirt, dragging it over my head before doing the same with my bra, baring myself to the room. It’s not as though Jace hasn’t seen me naked more than a handful of times at Exile Island.

Still, Sean’s jaw tics, but I ignore that as I trade places with him, lowering myself until my knees connect with the unyielding concrete floor of Viktor’s interrogation room.

There was never a question about where we were going to do this. An interrogation room was where we fell in love, so it only seemed fitting to start our next chapter here. Thank you, Viktor, for contributing this venue.

Sean, Honey Eyes, and I spend a lot of time together, as I’m teaching them both Russian—with the help of the soap operas—and even when the sadness creeps back into my heart, I find it easier to breathe when I’m with my friends. We started joining Viktor for his weekly dinners, and it feels good to laugh again.

After we buried my brother, the three of us moved into my cottage just outside of Moscow for a safe, fresh start. But that only lasted about six months before I bought Jace the place next door. He deserved to have his own space. He mentioned paying me back for it, but I told him that I’d slit his throat if he gave me a dime. Like a brother, Jace possesses a teeny, tiny sliver of the organ that belongs to Sean, right next to Viktor. I wish Mercer had gotten the chance to know these men better.

Sean and Jace work for Vik now, torturing the unfortunate souls that manage to find themselves in this basement. Joining the Bratva has been an adjustment for them since the other soldiers are wary of them, but I know that with time, Digs and Jace will win them over. At least their working conditions have vastly improved.

Things for all of us are getting easier every day.

I close my eyes, taking a deep, calming breath as I attempt to pacify my nerves.

“Do you want a strap to bite down on, Lou?” Jace quips from behind me, his beefy, warm hands landing on my shoulders, giving them an affectionate, gentle squeeze.