Page 104 of Sincerely, Mr. Braden

When I reach willing participant in stress release, a hiccup of a laugh escapes. By the time I reach zero interest in keeping his hands off me, my pulse is doing acrobats, and when I read safe, loved, and happy, tears sting my eyes, and I’m gone. Absolutely, irreversibly gone, as I click to the next slide.

Cons of a Lifetime with Seth Braden

• Exceedingly charming overthinker

• Might feign stress simply to gain relief

• May use spreadsheets and presentations to express feelings

• Prone to kissing you midsentence

• Will litter your floor with books

• Slightly dramatic when sick

• Overly analytical overthinker

• Possible withdrawals after twelve hours away from you

• High probability of distracting you during work hours

• High risk of swoon overload and permanent heart entanglement

• Has no off switch when it comes to loving you

Tears blur my vision, and I hear Seth’s car in the driveway and quickly click to the next slide.

Projected Return on Investment

• Immediate Yield: 100% increase in affection, happiness, and pleasure

• Long-Term Growth

• Sustained and exceptional increase in all matters of the heart, emotional and physical

• Guaranteed to check off your mason jar scrolls

• Potential for future pack of tiny analytical artists and overthinkers armed with crayons and logic

Children? He wants children? My heart races, and I quickly move to the next slide.

Conclusion

All findings suggest a lifetime with Seth Braden will guarantee your happily ever after, but the first rule of winning proposals is never leave anything to chance. Turn the page to sweeten the pot.

My hands shake as I click the icon to the next slide.

Redeemable Coupons

Nonrefundable, no expiration date

• Good for a lifetime of being loved by me

• Use code: ForeverStartsNow

A sound between a laugh and a sob slips out. A lifetime. Not a hypothetical, not maybe one day. A lifetime with the man who’s had my heart for more years than I even knew. Swiping at tears, I click to the next slide.

• Good for one marriage proposal