Page 67 of Love, Lies, and Whiskey

“You know Lucas and his friends are probably playing Seven Minutes in Heaven, or whatever kids play these days.” He ate a bite of his sandwich.

“I know. Don’t remind me. He’s growing up so fast, and dealing with all of this will make him grow up even faster.”

“He’ll get through it. But let’s not spend our evening worrying about what’s to come. We’ll handle whatever comes up as best and as honestly as we can. But tonight I want to know what you’ve been doing for all these years and how the hell you’re still single.” He leaned against her shoulder. “And don’t tell me you’ve been too busy to date. I might buy that when Lucas was little, but you must’ve had plenty of guys to choose from over the years. Has there been anyone special in your life?”

She swallowed the bite of sandwich she was eating. “I have been busy raising our son, and in California I also had my veterinary practice to run. But I dated here and there, and there were a couple of guys who I thought could lead to something serious.”

“Why didn’t they?”

She shrugged. “Life got in the way, or they wanted something I couldn’t give.”

“Such as?”

“One of them wanted to eventually move overseas, and I didn’t want to. I’ve always been a small-town girl. That’s where I’m most comfortable, and the idea of moving to a foreign country with Lucas wasn’t appealing to me at all.”

“I’m glad you didn’t. What about the other guys?”

“There was only one who I would have even considered getting more serious with, but he wanted more kids, and I couldn’t have them.”

“That must’ve been hard. I’ll understand if you don’t want to talk about this, but when you found out you couldn’t have kids, did you and Josh consider IVF or think about a surrogate or adopting?”

“The short answer is no. Josh wanted to father a child, which meant adoption was out, and he didn’t like the idea of a surrogate. We were so young, I didn’t even think about IVF. We never even went through any kind of testing to see why we couldn’t get pregnant. But honestly, a baby was his last-ditch effort to save our sham of a marriage. I would have given it to him if I could have, because he stepped in when I needed him for Lucas, but I wasn’t happy, and we both knew forcing the issue wasn’t the right thing to do.”

“What about the other guy? Did you love him? Couldn’t you have tried with him?”

“We weren’t there yet, and being with him would have been nice and comfortable, but it wasn’t like it is with us. I’ve never felt the spellbinding chemistry that you and I have with anyone else. You kind of ruined me for other men with that.”

He grinned. “I’m not sorry for that.”

“Neither am I, now that we’re here.”

“What about Lucas? How did he handle meeting those guys and the end of those relationships?”

“He never met them. He’d already lost Josh. I couldn’t take a chance of him getting attached. I wasn’t going to introduce him to anyone who I wasn’t one hundred percent sure I wanted in our lives.” She sipped her wine, debating asking the question that had been nagging at her. But if ever there was a time she should not hold back, it was now. “Before I fall any harder for you, I need to ask you something.”

“Anything, darlin’.”

“Are you asking about IVF and the other alternatives because you hope to have more children?”

“That wasn’t why I was asking. I wanted to understand what you’ve been through. But would I want to raise more children with you? Baby, I would happily raise a houseful of kids with you, like we dreamed about, whether they’re biologically ours or not. But that’s not a dealbreaker for me. I am incredibly lucky to have you and Lucas in my life. I don’t need anything more to be happy.” He leaned in and kissed her. “So feel free to fall harder for me. Fall at breakneck speed. Let me know if you need a push.”

She laughed. “As if I ever had a chance in hell of not falling for you?”

He kissed her again. “What other questions are swirling around in your beautiful brain?”

“Hm.” She pretended to think about it, but in reality it took no thought at all. “Has there ever been anyone special in your life, other than me?”

“No.” He finished his glass of wine and set it down, his jaw tightening.

She popped a grape into her mouth, waiting for him to say more. When he didn’t, she said, “Why not?”

“My family will tell you I never let anyone get close enough to become special, and they wouldn’t be wrong. Losing you hurt like hell. I never wanted to go through that again. But I don’t think that’s the only thing at play. I think when things are right—chemistry, friendship, values, future dreams—everything falls into place, and we don’t have an ounce of control over it. You and I are proof of that. All it took was hearing the truth to unearth and unleash all those emotions in both of us, and I don’t know about you, but I couldn’t ignore them if I tried.”

“I think we both know that I can’t hold back with you, either.”

“I like that about you.” He put his hand on her leg and kissed her.

“So, you really never had any long-term relationships? Not even in college?”