Page 40 of Love, Lies, and Whiskey

She explained how Lucas wasn’t mean or disrespectful like he had been last night, but he was distant and sullen. “It’s like he doesn’t know how to act around me anymore.”

“Maybe he doesn’t. It’s only been a day, and all of our emotions are still raw. The summer all that shit went down, I shut everyone out.” He told her how he hadn’t opened up to his mother until she’d stopped pushing him to. “It might be easier for Lucas to come to you on his terms.”

“You think I should stop trying to talk to him about it?”

“Not completely. Maybe let him know you’re there if he wants to talk, but try not to push too hard. Not that you are—”

“No, you’re right. I am pushing. I can’t help it,” she confided. “I just want to make things better. Every time I see him, it’s right there, front and center in my mind.”

“I get it. It’s like that for me, and I’m sure it is for him, too. He feels like his world has exploded, so maybe you need to show him that his daily life isn’t going to change, and you’re still the same mom you were two days ago.”

“How am I supposed to do that?”

“I’m not sure. Is there a way to show him that even though it feels like his life has imploded, some things aren’t changing, like bull riding and school and practicing driving?”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

“I think he just needs time,” Doc said. “Is this how he usually handles stress? Closing himself off?”

“Sort of. He used to share everything with me, but over the last year or so, that’s been changing. He keeps things closer to his chest.”

“That sounds like typical teenage behavior.”

“I know, but I don’t have to like it.” She laughed softly. “But this feels bigger.”

“Because it is, but we’ll figure out how to get through to him. I don’t want him harboring resentment like I did. That’s a tough way to live. He needs to know he can trust us, and we have to earn that trust. I’ll talk to my mom to see if she has any suggestions.”

“Your mom gave me the name of a therapist, and I called to make an appointment. I’m waiting for a call back.”

“That’s a good start.” He petted Pickles. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“I missed so many years of your lives. I want to know about all of them, eventually. But I was hanging out with everyone tonight, and Gus, Sasha’s fiancé Ezra’s little boy, was running around, chatting about a hundred different things, and making s’mores. He’s in kindergarten, and suddenly he climbed into Sasha’s lap, curled up with sticky little hands and cheeks, and fell right to sleep.”

She laughed. “At that age, it’s like they’re Energizer Bunnies until their batteries run out. That’s so sweet.”

“It was, and it made me realize how much I missed with Lucas. I was wondering if you could tell me about what he was like when he was little.”

“Oh, Seeley, he was beautiful and so freaking cute, it was ridiculous.”

He laughed. “I’m sure he was the cutest baby ever born, and I bet you were beautiful when you were pregnant.”

“I was round, but he was beautiful.”

“I don’t believe that for a second. I’m gonna need to see proof. Send me pictures.”

She laughed. “Seriously?”

“What do you think?”

“Okay. But you’ll see. I was like an Oompa Loompa. Hold on.” When her text rolled in, she said, “The first picture was taken the week before Lucas was born. The second was in the hospital the night he was born.”

“Let me put you on speaker so I can look at them.”

He put her on speaker, and his heart felt like it was going to explode as he took in an image of the fun-loving teenage girl he’d known, standing by a fence wearing black leggings and a sky-blue sweater, her belly round with his baby. Her cheeks were fuller, her hair a little wilder, and she was absolutely gorgeous, but she looked too young and innocent to go through everything that she had. In the second picture, she was gazing at their baby with so much love in her eyes, it made his chest ache. Lucas was impossibly tiny, swaddled in a pink and blue blanket, with a dusting of dark hair.

“I told you I looked awful,” she said.