Page 37 of Love, Lies, and Whiskey

“Don’t be. I think we need honesty right now. Lucas made it very clear that Josh was his dad and he will always love him.”

“Of course. He’s staking his claim. I respect that. I should’ve told him I didn’t want to take Josh’s place, but I was focused on making sure he knew how and why the situation had gone down the way it had.”

The cadence of his voice told her he was pacing. “I appreciate that. He also asked if you and I were getting back together and if I still loved you.”

“Jesus.” Seeley was quiet for a second. “What did you tell him?”

“The truth. That I’d always love you, but we have to get to know each other again, and he’ll always come first.”

“Did that set him off?”

“No. But when I said you wanted to get to know him, he asked what would happen if he didn’t want that, and I told him we could talk about it.”

“Shit.” The hurt in his voice was evident.

She stopped near the front of the house. “I’m sorry. It was hard for me to hear that, too, but I don’t think he’s dead set against getting to know you. It’s just a lot to think about all at once.”

“Yeah. No shit. For all of us. How can I help make things easier?”

“You’re already doing more than you know.” She paced in the moonlight. “Being here and talking to us and caring about Lucas is more than I’ve had from anyone other than my grandmother. I appreciate all of it, and I hope one day Lucas will, too.”

“It doesn’t feel like enough. I know he needs time, but I want him to know I’m here if he has questions or wants to talk, and I don’t want too much time to pass before seeing him again.”

I don’t want there to be either. “He’ll probably have a lot more questions as the reality of it all sinks in. Why don’t we see how things go over the next few days? Then we can figure out where to go from there.”

“Sounds good. Jule, are you sure you’re okay? You can tell me if you’re not.”

“I’m as okay as I can be, I think. But I’d give anything for a do-over.”

“You and me both.”

“I keep thinking about what my grandmother said when I got that letter. I was completely inconsolable, and she said it was because my heart had found its voice and that it would always speak louder than my head. She said there would be no quieting those screams, and I’d have to learn to hear past them to do what was best for my—for our—baby. I worked so freaking hard to do that, and now I wish I had been too weak.”

“Don’t do that, darlin’. Don’t blame yourself for this. It was all fucked up and out of our control. But you’re back, and the truth is finally out there, and if I have my way, you’re never leaving again. Or if you do, it’s not going to be without me.”

She smiled at his vehemence and his undying adoration.

“We will figure this out, Jule, and I know it may not feel like it right now, but Lucas loves you, and I have to believe that one day he’ll understand why you took the path you did.”

“I know he loves me. I just hate hurting him.”

“So do I, and I hate how much hurt you’ve suffered. Do you want me to come over and sit with you so you’re not alone?”

“Yes,” she said honestly. “But you can’t. I don’t want Lucas thinking it’s us against him.”

“Oh, man. I didn’t even consider that. Sorry. I think I need a parenting handbook.”

“Don’t we all?”

“I don’t know, darlin’. Given the hand you were dealt, I think you’ve done a hell of a job so far.”

“Thank you.” She soaked in that praise. “I needed to hear that. It means a lot to me.”

“Well, you and Lucas mean a lot to me.”

She looked up at the house, not wanting to end the call, but she was worried about Lucas. “I should check on him.”

“Okay. I’m here if you need anything at all.”