Page 13 of Love, Lies, and Whiskey

She needed a second to get her head on straight and went into the kitchen for a glass of water. Because guzzling wine when she was angry wouldn’t set a good example for Lucas.

“Why are you going?” he demanded. “Why was he even here? I’ve never heard the name Seeley in my life, and suddenly he’s showing up at our house and yelling at you?”

She took a drink, considering her response. She hadn’t been much older than Lucas when she’d fallen in love with Seeley, and this was not how she’d envisioned their lives panning out. Sometimes she had to remind herself that Lucas hadn’t grown up hearing her argue with Josh, or any other adult for that matter. She’d cut her parents out of their lives so long ago, he’d been too little to remember those arguments. She didn’t want him to think it was okay for adults to yell at each other, either, but she’d held on to so many years of hurt and anger, she couldn’t have stifled it if she’d tried. It sounded like Seeley couldn’t either, but that didn’t make him a bad person.

“I told you we have a complicated past. We were important to each other a long time ago, and things didn’t end well.”

“So? Why bother with him after all this time?”

Because he’s your father, and I never stopped loving him. “He lives in Hope Valley, and now that we’re living here, there’s a chance we’ll run into him again. I don’t want any bad blood between us. After I grab a sweatshirt and check on the horses, I’m going over to talk to him.”

He crossed his arms. “Then I’m going with you.”

“No, you’re not,” she said firmly. “You’re going to stay here and do your homework, text with your friends, play your games, and not worry about me.”

“But—”

“Lucas, this is not negotiable. I know you’re not used to seeing me argue with anyone, and you’ve witnessed two uncomfortable interactions with Seeley, but sometimes adults argue, the same way kids do.”

“You never argued with Dad,” he retorted.

Her heart was breaking. She felt like she’d spent her entire life hiding and lying, and she had to stop. “Yes, I did. We argued a lot. We were just careful not to do it around you.”

He set his jaw, drumming his fingers, looking so much like a younger Seeley, she felt a pang of longing and pain, underscoring why she needed to get to the bottom of the things Seeley had said.

“Honey, I love that you want to protect me, but that’s not your job. Your job is to be a teenager, and to focus on school, enjoy your friends, take care of the horses, and try not to give me any more heart attacks when you’re bull riding.” The doctor had suggested he take a few days off before he got back on a bull, and although Lucas had fought her on it, he’d abided by her rules and would return to practicing next week. “Okay?”

“Whatever,” he grumbled.

“Get over here.” She tugged him into a hug, and he stood rigid, his arms at his sides. “I’m not letting go until you hug me back.”

He huffed and finally hugged her.

She held on a little tighter, hoping she hadn’t totally screwed up their lives.

Chapter Six

JULIETTE WAS UPSET with herself for letting her anger get the better of her twice in one day. She gripped the steering wheel tighter as she neared the ranch.

When she’d driven onto the ranch earlier, she’d been nervous about talking to Seeley, and she’d been furious with him when she’d left. This time, as she turned into the ranch, her emotions were all over the place. She was angry that he’d denied writing the letter, thankful that he’d pulled himself together once Lucas had come outside, and confused to no end about what was going on.

She hadn’t thought to ask where he’d be on the ranch, so she drove to the veterinary clinic, which she’d seen earlier was still located just past the rehab barns. She’d sleuthed Seeley over the years. Not often, but enough to see whether he’d ever married or if he had a family. She’d been happy for him when she first learned he’d followed his dream and was working on the ranch. But that happiness had been squashed seconds later by resentment.

As she wound through the ranch on roads she’d once known by heart, it took her a great deal of effort to stuff that still-present resentment down deep. Especially after he’d basically called her a liar. She drove up to the clinic, and when she saw Seeley’s motorcycle parked out front, resentment reared its ugly head again. He’d had everything he ever wanted for all this time, and she’d had it all ripped out from under her. She’d had to fight for her freedom, and every single thing she and Lucas had.

She was so nervous, she felt sick as she parked beside his bike. Leaving the engine running, she rolled down the window and closed her eyes, trying to regain control so she wouldn’t fly off the handle. She took one long, deep breath after another, missing her grandmother, wishing she were there to lean on. Grandma Hazel always knew how to talk her off the ledge. She pictured her grandmother’s face, dotted with sun spots and mapped with wrinkles. Her grandmother had called them sun kisses and lifelines. She’d said every time she got to feeling sorry for herself, she’d remember she’d earned every one of those spots and wrinkles.

Juliette conjured her grandmother’s loving blue-gray eyes, remembering the day she’d told her about Seeley’s letter, and her grandmother’s raspy voice whispered through her mind. That doesn’t sound like the boy who looked at you like you were the prettiest filly in the barn. But I’ve been fooled before. Juliette had sobbed until she had no tears left to fall. Her grandmother had taken her by the shoulders, holding her teary gaze, and said, Listen carefully, Juliegirl. Your heart has found its voice, and it will always speak louder than your head. I fear there will be no quieting those screams, so it’s up to you to learn to think past them in order to do what’s best for your baby.

The sound of footsteps on gravel startled her, and her eyes flew open as Seeley strode up to her truck. Why did he have to look so damn hot in those low-slung jeans and that black leather cut? He put a hand on the door, his T-shirt straining against his muscles with the movement. His jaw clenched, his dark eyes scrutinizing her in a way that made her heart beat so hard, she was sure he could hear it. “Your boy okay?” he asked.

“Our boy” flew angrily out before she could check it. “He’s our boy, Seeley. Lucas is our son.”

His eyes narrowed. “Does he know that?”

“No.”

His jaw ticked. “We can talk at my place. Follow me.”