Page 59 of Talk Wicked to Me

“I wanted to wait until I felt more like myself so I could enjoy it.”

“And you feel that way now?”

She thought about that for a second. “I feel like a new version of myself. A mom version.” She took a drink of water.

“In that case, the mom version is damn hot.”

She choked on her water, coughing.

He patted her back. “You okay?”

“Yes. Sorry.” She cleared her throat and set down her glass, telling herself to get a grip.

“So what’s different between the old you and the new you?”

“What’s not different would be easier to answer. Let’s start with the obvious. I’m heavier than I ever was, and that takes getting used to.”

“I didn’t know you before, but”—his gaze slid slowly down her body, and her nipples pebbled under the heat of it—“you’ve got killer curves in all the right places, so if you’re worried about that, don’t be.”

“Wow, your charm is on overdrive today.” She fanned her face and took another drink.

He grinned. “I’m just being honest. What else is different?”

“Give a girl a second to catch her breath.”

They both laughed.

“Everything is different. My thoughts start and end with Brennan. What does he need? Is he okay? Am I showing him enough love?”

“You never skimp in the love department.”

Warming with his praise, she glanced at her sleeping boy. “Good. I hope I never do.” Returning her attention to Baz, she said, “I’m writing every little thing he does in his baby book, so I never forget any of it, and I see things differently now. When I look around my cottage, I see it through mom eyes, which I didn’t know was a thing. He can’t even crawl yet, but I never leave anything on the floor just in case, and I’m making mental lists about baby proofing. Putting him down for his nap in his crib felt like he was miles away from me.” The first day she’d put him down for a nap in the nursery had brought another whirlwind of emotions. Not just about Brennan but also about Baz and the help he’d given her by painting and setting up the room. “We both sleep better that way, but just because he’s out of sight never means he’s off my mind. That’s not a complaint, it’s just me acknowledging the changes in myself.”

“All of that shows you’re a caring mother, but it’s okay to complain sometimes. If you get tired or need a break. I’ll never judge you for that.”

“I know you won’t,” she said honestly. “You’ve seen me at my worst.”

“If I’ve seen you at your worst, then your worst is not bad at all. What else you got?”

“Some differences are more difficult to deal with. Like now that I’m feeling well enough to take on more editing work, I don’t have the same drive to do it. I used to be chomping at the bit to dive into a new manuscript.”

“What would you rather be doing?”

You was on the tip of her tongue.

I can’t believe I’m thinking that.

That was a lie. She thought about being closer to Baz a lot. Gwen thought it was normal, given how close they’d become. But it didn’t feel normal to be lusting after a friend who had never made a move toward becoming anything more.

“Em…?” he said, drawing her from her thoughts. “What would you rather be doing?”

“Oh, um. Staring at Brennan.” She looked down at her beautiful boy. “Look at that little face. I can’t get enough of him.”

“Neither can I, and I’m not his parent. I think it’s normal to be consumed by your baby the first few months. That’s not a bad thing.”

“I guess not, but short of that, I’d rather be baking.”

“Sounds to me like this might be a good time to think about my mother’s suggestion.”