Page 118 of Talk Wicked to Me

The roar of a motorcycle had them both turning to look out the front windows. Emerson’s heart raced, her nerves catching fire as Baz drove past the front windows and turned into the driveway.

“I guess he needed to find you, too,” Ginger said. “Go, honey. I’ll watch Brennan.”

“Thank you. For everything.” She hugged Ginger, then rose on shaky legs and hurried outside.

Baz was climbing off his bike. He took off his helmet, and their eyes connected with an unfamiliar charge, full of sorrow and fear, with a hint of desperation—at least on her end, turning the butterflies in her chest into a swarm of hornets. She hoped she hadn’t hurt him so badly, she and Brennan would lose the best thing that had ever happened to them.

“Baz” rushed out as she went to him.

“I’m sorry,” they said in unison.

“I got scared,” she said at the same time he said, “I was scared.”

“This is on me, Em. The thought of anyone taking Brennan away from you, from us, for even one day, tears me apart.”

“Me too. When I opened that door and saw him, my stomach bottomed out. I was terrified he was there to try to take Brennan away, and my claws came out. But you were going off on him, and I couldn’t think straight.”

“I was blinded by the threat of losing Brennan, but I realize now that I was also blinded by the threat of losing you. I fucking love you and Little B so much, it hurts, but I should’ve handled that situation better.”

Her thoughts tripped up, tears springing from her eyes again. “You love us?”

“More than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything. I know it’s fast, and you might not be there yet, and that’s okay. I’ll wait however long it takes, but I need you to know how much you and Brennan mean to me. I’ve wanted to tell you so many times, but I didn’t want to scare you away. I almost told you the night you went through your parents’ boxes, but I wasn’t sure how you’d react, and you were so happy, I didn’t want to ruin that for you. I told Brennan I loved him that night, and I probably shouldn’t have told him first, but I saw his sweet face and it just came out.”

Her heart felt like it might explode. “You told Brennan you loved him?”

“Yes, sorry, babe. My head’s been all over the place lately.”

Nervous laughter escaped. “That just makes me love you more.”

“It does?”

She’d never heard so much relief in two little words. “Yes. I love you, too, Baz. I didn’t think I was capable of loving anyone, and then Brennan showed up and proved me wrong, and you barreled in behind him like you were always supposed to be there.”

“Because I was. I am. But you were right this morning, Em. The decision to let Brennan’s father into his life is yours and yours alone. I wasn’t expecting to make the decision. I get that I don’t have that right, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be part of it or earn that right in time. I have tried to show you that you and Brennan can count on me, and I realize going off the rails undermined that. I’m sorry I lost it, and I can’t promise not to do it again. But I’m not a total insecure asshole. You have to know I love Little B too much to keep him from his birth father. That boy deserves all the love he can get. But if you don’t trust me enough to talk through important issues and know I’ll support your decisions, then maybe I haven’t tried hard enough to earn that trust.”

“You have.” She didn’t think she had any more tears to cry, but she was wrong. “I do trust you, and I’m really sorry that I didn’t show it in the moment, but I was scared. I had tunnel vision. I felt like I was losing the two people I love most in this world. Brennan to Marco and you because you’re going away—”

“Em—”

“Please let me finish. I know it doesn’t mean we’re breaking up, but I wasn’t exactly thinking rationally. And in the backyard, when you were asking where we fit in, my thoughts were spiraling, because I’ve been letting you do so much and take the lead, and it feels really good to have a partner I trust and not to shoulder the weight of the world alone and to love you and be loved by you.” Tears slipped down her cheeks. “But it was also a reality slap, because you’re not always going to be here, and my walls went up. I had protected myself for so long, it was instinct to gather what was mine and protect our hearts. But the minute you left, I realized I didn’t protect yours, and I am so sorry.”

“It’s okay, darlin’. Heat of the moment. I get it.” He drew her into his arms, holding her tight.

“No, it’s not.” She looked up at him. “You are the most important part of our lives, and I want you to be involved with this decision.”

“You know I want that too. We’re both learning how to navigate this, and we’re going to have ups and downs. All relationships do. But don’t ever doubt that I love you. All of you. The fierce mama bear who gathers her cub and protects him with everything she has, the sexy goddess who drives me wild, and the fearful girl who fought so hard to become the incredible woman standing here fighting for us.”

Bowled over with emotion, more tears slid down her cheeks. “I love us.”

“Me too. I’ll never stop trying to be the man you and Brennan deserve, and you don’t have to worry about handling things on your own, because I’m not going anywhere. I’m canceling my trip.”

“What?” She pushed out of his arms, wiping her tears. “No. I don’t want that. You’ve dreamed of doing this forever.”

“I set up that trip before you and Brennan came into my life. The only reason I’m going is because I promised Ashley, and she’s gone, Emerson. She’ll never know that I didn’t go.”

Oh, my heart! “I love that you would do that for me, but I can’t let you. Ashley may not know, but you will, and you’ll never forgive yourself if you don’t go. You’ll end up resenting me and Brennan, and I’ll end up resenting myself for holding you back from keeping one of the most important promises you’ve ever made.” She put her hand on his chest. “This loyal heart of yours, the way it drives everything you do, is one of the things I love most about you. I don’t ever want that to change, and if you let Ashley down, it will change.”

“Then come with me,” he urged. “We’ll go together. The three of us. It’ll be an adventure.”