Page 89 of Rush

“My dad gave me the rest of the day off.” I crouch down before him, putting us at eye-level. “And I’m here because you told me to call you when I’d sorted my shit out. Well, I’ve sorted my shit out. But I thought I’d come see you in person rather than call.”

“Mmhmm. Right.” He nods. “And just exactly how have you sorted your shit out?”

“I told my dad about us.”

I don’t miss the surprise that quickly flickers through his eyes. He doubted I would. But then I can’t blame him. I didn’t exactly give him a reason to have confidence in me.

There’s a long pause before he says anything. And, when he does, it’s, “Okay.”

“Okay?” I frown.

“That’s what I said.”

“And what does okay mean?”

“I’m pretty sure it has a few definitions in the dictionary—”

“You’re hilarious.”

“I do try.”

“God, you’re an ass.”

“Well, what exactly do you want me to say?”

“Oh, I don’t know!” I throw a hand in the air. “Maybe, That’s great, Ari! I know how hard that must have been for you!”

“I’m more interested in knowing why you didn’t want to tell him in the first place—and don’t give me the bullshit about him coming between us because, if you had any faith in me…in us, then you would never have thought that in the first place.”

He’s right. But it’s not that I don’t have faith in him. I don’t have faith in myself.

“I…” I blow out a breath. “After the first conversation with my dad, about me getting a lift to work with you and how he wasn’t happy at the thought of you and me…and I interpreted it to be because of you—that I would bring negative press your way—I was afraid…”

I feel tears stinging my eyes, and I bite the inside of my cheek to stop them from coming.

But it doesn’t work, and they spill anyway.

A shaky breath escapes me. “But that was my own negative thoughts about myself coming through. It wasn’t actually my dad saying it. It was me drawing the worst conclusion because that’s what I already think about myself. That I’m not good enough for you. That I’m a mess. That you’d remember all of this and all the reasons you didn’t want to be with me in the first place, and you’d…leave me.” I press my palms to my cheeks, wiping away the tears.

“You’re not a mess, Ari.”

I finally lift my eyes to him. He’s staring at me with an unnamed emotion.

“I kind of am at the moment.”

“That’s true.” He purses his lips and bobs his head in agreement.

“Ass.” I chuckle tearfully.

“Also true.” He reaches out and takes my hand. His skin is wet and cool on mine. “What did your dad say when you told him?”

“He was pretty good about it. He told me that his concern was for me. With you being high-profile and me being his daughter, the press will be interested, especially because of what happened earlier this year. And he was worried about how the press getting into my personal life again might affect me.”

“That makes sense.” He nods. “But there are ways to protect you from that.”

“He’s going to speak to PR.”

“Good.” He runs his thumb over my wrist.