Page 95 of Ruin

Then, I delete the voice mail. And go to bed.

And the cycle starts all over again the next day.

But I can do this. I will do this.

He will realize I’m not going to break. That The Mistake was just that, and we’re never getting back together—cue Taylor Swift’s song.

And the cycle will break.

It has to.

Because I won’t risk my daughter’s happiness for anything.

I’m rushing around, getting Gigi ready for school and myself ready for work.

Zeus offered to come and pick her up to take her to pre-K, but I declined, knowing that Aunt Elle wouldn’t be here and Gigi wouldn’t be a good buffer. She’s a kid monster in the morning, and her sole ambition in life is to glue her eyes to the television and ignore everything I ask her to do.

I’m in the kitchen, making our lunches—peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for us both. I might be twenty-four, but I have the palate of a child—when the doorbell rings.

I pause as an excited chill creeps down my spine.

Excited at the thought that it could be Zeus.

Chilled at the thought that it could be Zeus.

Messed up, thy name is Cameron.

“I gots it!” Gigi yells out, sounding a hell of a lot chipper than I feel.

“No, you’s don’t!” And I’ve also been picking up on my daughter’s vocab. Awesome. “What have I told you about answering the door?” I say sternly as I walk out of the kitchen and into the hall.

Gigi has stopped just short of the door with a guilty look on her face.

“That just ’cause it’s our doorbell ringing doesn’t means we knows who it is.”

“That’s right, Gigi girl. So, what do you do when the doorbell rings?”

“I’s waits for Mommy or Granny Elle. Or Daddy if he’s here.”

That last bit stabs into my heart like a shard of glass.

“That’s right.” I smile at her even though it’s the last thing I feel like doing. “So, now that I’m here with you, you can open the door.”

Gigi unlocks the door and pulls it open.

“Daddy!” she screams and jumps at him.

Zeus catches her in his arms and holds her close, hugging her. “Morning, baby girl.” He kisses her cheek. His eyes drift to me. “Morning, Cam.”

“Hi,” I say. “What are you doing here?” I try to say it without sounding too accusatory.

“I wanted to see my girl before school.”

Gigi slaps her hands to his cheeks and brings his focus to her. “You means, giwls, Daddy. You wants to see Mommy before work, too, right?”

“Right.” He smiles at her. Then, his eyes move to mine. “I always want to see your mom.”

The wanting look in his eyes makes my heart go kaboom.