Page 37 of Ruin

I questioned why he would have lied.

And she shrugged and said, “Why does anyone lie?”

I hadn’t even considered it, to be honest.

But I guess Aunt Elle deals with liars every single day, that it’s part of her makeup now to be suspicious of people.

I could tell Zeus wasn’t lying. His reaction alone when he realized he had a daughter wasn’t something you could fake.

I spent all these years hating him for walking away from Gigi, and now, I know the truth…that he didn’t abandon her. I don’t know how to feel.

He cheated on me. That fact hasn’t changed.

And, now, it’s all I’ve got left to hold on to, to keep my anger and resentment alive for him.

Because seeing Zeus after all this time has rattled my emotions. It always was impossible for me to be around him and not feel something.

And, after his parting words yesterday, I have to keep him at arm’s length.

“I came for you.”

I don’t know exactly what he meant by that. What he wanted from me. Well, whatever it was, I don’t intend to find out.

Zeus broke my heart, and I won’t let him do it again.

He’s here for Gigi now, and that’s fine. Well, it’s not fine. It’s hard.

It feels difficult that she’s going to have another parent now. I’ve been her only one for so long. And, as much as I’m glad that she’s going to have her father, it’s still scary for me that, going forward, I’m going to have to share her with Zeus.

I’m dressed and ready and sipping on a cup of coffee, trying to steady my jittery nerves before he gets here.

Gigi’s upstairs, getting dressed.

I told her yesterday that we were going out to the park with an old friend of Mommy’s. And, being the kid she is, she heard the word park, and nothing else registered. To her, it’s no big deal.

But it’s everything.

And I don’t know if I’m handling this whole situation right.

If there’s a certain way I should be doing things.

Maybe I’m getting it wrong, not telling Gigi right away that Zeus is her father. I just don’t want to confuse or upset her. I think, if she at least knows him before I drop the bombshell, it might make things easier.

I hope.

Zeus is easy to fall in love with.

I learned that the hard way.

I just pray that Gigi never has to experience what it’s like to lose Zeus.

Aunt Elle wanders into the kitchen, ready for work. “You look pretty,” she says.

I stare down at my outfit.

I’m wearing skinny jeans and a chunky white knit top with thigh-high brown boots. I curled my hair, and I’m wearing makeup. I wouldn’t usually make this much of an effort to take Gigi to the park, but he is my ex, who left me for another woman, and I refuse to look shitty around him.

“Too much?” I ask.