Page 152 of Breaking Hollywood

“I had Vaughn call him to fill him in while I came to see you. But I do need to talk to Gil about all that shit and about the press release. I know he’s probably getting twitchy, waiting for my answer on it.”

“Press release?” I ask.

“About my past. Gil had my publicist draft a statement. I have to sign off on it.”

“You don’t sound convinced.”

“I’m not.”

I sit around and look at him. “Don’t you want to tell your side of the story? Get the actual truth out there to your fans?”

“Yeah, I do. But the statement just doesn’t feel right. It says nothing about the truth in it. It’s just basically an apology for my past.”

“So, change it. Rewrite it yourself.”

“I’m not exactly a great writer, Speedy. I’m more of a verbal guy, if you haven’t noticed.”

“So, if talking is your strength, tell them face-to-face from your own mouth.”

“I don’t want to go on a fucking talk show and spill my guts.”

“So, don’t. Record a video. Say everything you want to and then put it out there on your social media. That way, you’re directing it to the people who matter—your fans.”

He stares at me for a long moment. “You ever thought of being a publicist? Because you’d be fucking awesome at it.”

“I’m awesome at most things.” I give a shrug and a teasing smile.

“You’re awesome at everything, Speedy. Except for driving. That, you suck at.”

“Hey! It was my shitty driving that brought us together.”

Gabe laughs, and the sound is beautiful. “Yeah, and I’m thankful every fucking day for that.”

Gabe

I’ve decided to do a live video on Facebook. No fucking around. Just go live on social media and get it over with.

Julian, Vaughn, and Charly left to give us some privacy while I do this video. Martin left straight after checking Ava’s car and mine. Thankfully, they were clear. He said he’d be in touch as soon as he had something on the bugging devices.

I also spoke to Gil. Told him to scrap the press release. I told him that I was going to do this myself, my way. He’s not too happy with me doing a live video. But it’s not like I’m doing a Q&A session. I’m just going on there, telling my side of the story, and then I’m done.

I also told Gil about the bugs in my apartment. He’s on with the lawyers right now. And I gave him Martin’s contact details, so the lawyers could talk to him directly if needed.

I’m just having a cigarette out on the terrace.

I glance over at the drinks on the table. They’re still there.

I’ve not had anything to drink. I want to do this video with a clear head. But I know I will drink something before the day is out. I can’t not. I just need to watch how much I drink.

And, first thing tomorrow, I’m getting in touch with whomever I need to, to help me kick this habit I have.

I want to be a better man for Ava. I want to be a better man for me. And cleaning my act up is the first step at that. But the cigarettes are definitely not going. For the time being anyway.

Ava suggested that maybe I could talk to someone about my past. About my parents and the way I used to earn money. She thinks it all contributes to my excessive drinking. A way to dull the memories.

I think she’s probably right.

“You ready, baby?” Ava steps out onto the terrace.