Page 146 of River Wild

Sweet Lord.I’m getting hot, just thinking about it.

“Come on, Budster.”

I step back inside, and Buddy follows me. I shut the door behind us. I go to lock it and then stop because River is coming over. I might as well leave it unlocked, so he can just come straight on in.

I take my heels off and carry them with me down the hall, dropping them just inside my door. I go straight into Hope’s room with Buddy at my heels.

Hope’s bedroom door is ajar, leaving a glow of light inside.

I tread softly across the floor. Reaching her crib, I stare down at my sleeping daughter. I lean down and press a light kiss to her soft cheek.

“Mama loves you,” I whisper, lightly smoothing my hand over her hair. “Sleep well, baby girl.”

As I leave her room, keeping the door open, Buddy settles down on the rug in Hope’s room.

“Toilet time soon, Buddy boy. But you can chill for now.”

I walk into my bedroom and take off my dress and underwear, tossing them into the laundry basket in my bathroom. I grab some clean panties and pull them on, followed by my plain white pajama top and baby-blue shorts. I don’t need to stay dressed up for River. He’s seen me at my worst when I was giving birth. If that didn’t put him off me, then nothing will.

I go in my bathroom and brush my teeth. When I’m finished, I look at myself in the mirror.

My eyes are bright. My cheeks flushed.

I look happy.

When I think back to the person I was not even a year ago, it’s hard to reconcile that with the woman I am now. It’s crazy to believe that it’s not even been a year.

“You did it, girl,” I whisper to the mirror.

Switching off the bathroom light, I walk back through my bedroom. I glance at my bed, knowing I’m going to be sharing it with River for the first time tonight.

The thought sends butterflies fluttering into my tummy.

You know, I heard a saying once that said, Love is like a river, never ending as it flows but gets greater with time.

That’s my love with my River right there.

And it’s only just begun.

On bare feet, I walk down the hall, heading to the living room to wait for River, humming away to myself.

And then I’m smiling when I realize that the tune I’m humming is the song that River and I danced to tonight. Right before we made love.

I’m still smiling when I walk into the living room.

The smile freezes on my face at the sight of the person standing in my living room, my heart stilling in my chest.

My visitor doesn’t smile. Not that he ever did.

His head tips to the side a fraction. Cold eyes fixed on mine. He parts his lips, and in the voice that still fills my nightmares now, he says, “Hello, Annie.”