Page 88 of It’s The Dawg In Him For Me

“It’s not that easy. That man has been supporting me and my dream, gave me a place to store fabric and work, been payin’ my bills, date nights. When I just wanted somebody around, he was there. Shit, he even cleaned my porch after Kyron hating ass trashed it. I been told him that I was falling for him.”

“So do you forgive and move forward or forgive and let go for yourself?” Denise asked.

I shook my head. “That is what I don’t know. My feelings haven’t been like this for a nigga in a long time.”

The girls stayed way past closing, then we ordered some food and turned up the music. I didn’t mind, though. It kept me from thinking about Rosama as much as I was.

But when it was time to go, and Denise handed me my phone, reality set in when I saw all the missed calls and the messages.

“This nigga is not going to stop,” I said, reading through the same shit he already said.

“You better hurry up and figure out what you are going to do before he pops up on you.”

I agreed.

Once I got home, I did what Denise suggested. I took my shower, put on some comfy clothes, ordered some dinner, rolled up, and found a good, old Lifetime movie to watch as I ate and thought about that nigga.

I read through his messages some more. He talked about how me missed me and just wanted to talk to explain what was going on. I kept reading, and he called as I was reading.

I stared at the red and the lime green button for a long-ass second, then I answered.

“Nylah,” he said before I could speak. “Oh my God, thank you for answering.

“What do you want, Rosama?” I asked softly.

“You, I want you, baby.”

Tears instantly fell hearing them words ‘cause I didn’t feel like he meant them anymore.

“Ro…you really hurt me.”

“I know I did, baby girl, and I am so sorry. I neva meant to hurt you. But if you lemme come through, we can talk, and I can explain everything.”

I shook my head even though he couldn’t see it.

“Not right now. I need space to think right now.”

“Think about what?” Rosama asked. “Nylah, you are not leavin’ me.”

“If I'm not supposed to leave you ova cheating, then what am I supposed to leave you ova?”

“I didn’t cheat, Nylah. I just got some head.”

I looked at the phone and hung up. Clearly, my feelings were tied to a nigga that had no real feelings at all.

After a while of me trying to get back into my movie, I got a text from Rosama.

Rosama: I didn’t mean to say that. Please, Nylah, give me another chance. I promise I won't do you wrong. I haven’t been.

I stared at the message. My mind was telling me to leave him alone while my heart was telling me to give him another chance, and that’s when the idea came to me, and I smiled at myself as I FaceTimed my girls, wanting to get there okay before I made a move.

“Hey,” I said as they were coming onto the call. “So, I have been sitting here thinking, then Rosama called me and said he didn’t cheat. It was just head.”

All of their eyes got big.

“I know the fuck he didn’t,” Denise said.

“So, he’s admitting to doin’ it? Clown,” Raven added.