Page 96 of Violent Pawn

Right. It can’t be Zeno because he’s in Moscow…I think. Truthfully, I have no fucking clue where he is these days because I don’t even know what day it is.

“You missed work again.”

“You should be used to it by now.” Three times over two months, I’ve gone. Two of which were when Elio dragged me out of here on my ass.

“Guess I’ll never get used to seeing a kid I care about hurting himself this way.”

“Zeno send you?” I bring the bottle back to my mouth, needing to be a whole lot worse off for this conversation. “How’s it feel to always be at the whims of a Capo?”

His jaw ticks, and he shoves off the doorframe, taking a single step inside. Without potentially harming his feet, he can’t go any farther. Subconsciously, maybe that’s why I keep trashing the place. People can’t bother me if they can’t breach the room.

“Fuck you. Clean up. Get to work.” He spins on his heel and walks away, leaving me to my blissful misery.

My eyes flutter shut as I bring the bottle up to my mouth again, downing the rest of it in one go. The burn would make a normal person choke, but it’s nothing less than I deserve, so it’s everything I endure.

My phone vibrates inside my pocket. I’ve tried to keep it nearby after that first week because of her. If she calls, I’ll answer.

It’s not, though. The number flashing on my screen is unknown, so I nearly toss the device away. It isn’t her, nor is it Zeno. Anyone else doesn’t matter.

For some reason—blame the substances—I slide my thumb to respond and place it on speakerphone. “Hello?”

“Nero,” a familiar, deep voice comes through. “It’s Lev.”

Someone else I’ve wronged coming to take their price from my skin. Lev experienced hell at their father’s hands, and killing him took Lev’s revenge away, like Anastasia’s.

“Hi. Fuck. Lev⁠—”

“Don’t say whatever you’re about to.”

“I have to.” Fix this. That’s what I’m doing. In a moment of clarity caused by the voice of someone from that side of things, I straighten against the wall and grip the device the way I normally would a bottle. “I didn’t know. I’m sor⁠—”

“I’m not mad.”

“What?” I breathe in the moment of silence, which is broken by a shuffling in the background.

“I’m not mad,” he repeats. “Not for the murder, anyway. I wanted him gone, not for us, but for Serafina. I wasn’t taking a chance at a life with her while he still had connections to people who would hurt her again. How he died, I don’t really care. On our way to the Cayman Islands, I told my sister I wanted it done quickly. She wanted to do it slower, maybe as a way to heal her trauma. That’s when I realized she and I are in two different places. She feels a loss—that you took her right away. The physical act was enough for me. He’s gone, which is all that matters.”

One brick of my shame lifts. Just one, since she owns the rest. But I fucked up with Lev too, and there’s no fixing it regardless of what he claims.

“Still, Lev…”

“I didn’t call to do the sappy thing. You must know me better than that. If anything, I’m happy you did it. Maybe it’s better this way, you know? I’m not holding a grudge over this. Whatever anger exists within you over this situation is with Anastasia, not me.”

“H-how is she?” My hand tightens around the phone, pressing my cheek harder into the screen.

“Barely see her anymore, which means she’s not well. She’s usually annoying and constantly nearby, but she’s retreated within herself.”

I broke my ballerina’s sparkling self.

“Look.” He sighs like a man in pain. “I’d like you to fix things with her so she stops being so miserable. And if your voice is any indication, you’re miserable too.”

He isn’t wrong. “She hates me.”

“She does. Doesn’t mean forgiveness isn’t possible.”

How does one work to earn her damn forgiveness over this?

“We decided what to do with his body the other day.” More clicking comes from the other side of the call. “We need to deal with his house and possessions, but it’ll be better for her to wait a few more weeks. I’d love to send in a crew to trash everything, but given his years as an Elite, I need to make sure he doesn’t have any documentation tying him to us.”