Page 131 of Violent Pawn

You think I don’t know that? Keeping my eyes pinned to her face, her injuries, the way she’s dozing in and out, I spare him no attention.

I lost her months ago because of stupidity, but this is different. This isn’t the happy ending she deserves. Letting her go yesterday was so she could live her best life. I’d hear her name in passing, probably by the couple in the front, and all would be as well as it could be.

The kind of loss that nearly happened today would be permanent. It’d mean standing over her casket, knowing she’ll never dance again. She’d never bat those eyes before tossing me an insult. I’d never hear her voice again.

She’d be…gone.

Gone after hating me, and I’d spend the rest of my life regretting not leaving Anastasia alone and sparing us both this pain.

My pain would be how I love her with every fibre of my being.

“She single-handedly killed them both,” Zeno distantly reports, probably recounting what he found to Vanessa. “If it was anyone else, they may not have made it, but fuck, she didn’t hold back. I hate that she was kidnapped by our men at our wedding. She was taken, and none of us knew.”

“Z. Shut up.”

He meets my gaze, admonishment dying on his lips at whatever he finds.

After what feels like an endless drive, we finally reach the hospital. The rest of her family is waiting by the curb, an anxious force as nearby nurses and medical staff warily watch. Dimitri and Lev open the back door to take her from me. I hand her over to climb out myself but immediately grab her back once standing.

I need to hold her. I need to keep her safe. Fuck everyone else.

A loud commotion fills the area, and suddenly, there’s a hospital bed on wheels being driven in front of me. Someone is waving their hands, gesturing to release her, but my focus remains on her eyes. I need her to open them first.

“Signore,” one snaps, clapping her hands to get my attention.

Zeno comes up beside me and rests his hand on my shoulder. “Let her go. They’re doing their jobs.” He turns to one of the nurses, giving her our on-call doctor’s name.

The nurses, surprisingly strong, push me aside and drive the bed through the wide doors. I let them because my ability to care about anything besides Anastasia’s health has waned.

Thin arms wrap around my waist. It’s the familiar hold of mini-Mancini trying to bring me back to earth. “She’ll be alright. You found her. You saved her.”

“She saved herself,” I respond, voice as distant as my heart is. A piece in her grip is being driven down the hallway and away from me.

Lev moves to follow. “I’m family. I’ll see what I can find out.”

I trail him, uncaring that I’m not technically allowed to. She’s mine, dammit, and I’ll be there for her through this. Zeno follows too, mumbling about never listening or something.

Halfway there, we spot the Cosa Nostra doctor rushing through the halls. I catch up, gripping his shoulder to whirl him around. “I’m going to start digging a grave. If she dies, it’ll be marked as yours. Take that as a promise.”

He barely spares the warning attention. Having worked with us, and Giovanni prior to Zeno, he’s heard every version of a threat under the sun.

Zeno catches up and shields me from following Lev, who’s walking beside the doctor and Ana. “There’s nothing more to do until he checks her. Besides, you should clean up. You’re a mess in more ways than one.”

“You’d be too if it was Vanessa.”

“Never said I wouldn’t be.” He squeezes my shoulder, grimacing. “We also have work to do. Those two weren’t doing it alone, and I’d prefer not to wait until she’s conscious to get the information. By then, we might be too late. Elio messaged from the warehouse. He’s collected their phones to see if there’s a contact to track.”

“I don’t care about anything but her.” Desperation seeps into my tone. My body sways like I didn’t sleep at all last night. Except I do care. Anyone who harmed her will be on a fast track to Hell, but until I see bright blue eyes without pain, I truly can’t care.

“You do and you will. I want you on this, Nero. That pain you feel? That’s what I need. For her.”

“For her.”

He taps my arm before nudging me towards the doors where everyone else waits. “Lev will call with news. Today’s certainly a day that calls for a stiff drink, don’t you think?”

Normally, yes, but that craving isn’t present. Even the remorse felt when finding her, knowing she got taken when trying to come after me—guilt stronger than any ever felt for him—isn’t enough to push me off the wagon.

“No,” I reply softly. “As long as she gets better, she’s the only fix I crave.”