Page 86 of Warlord’s Empire

Even if everything with the pregnancy and birth went smooth, he was a warlord. A mercenary. A murderer. He had no business raising children. What kind of legacy would he leave them? Money, yes, but also violence and death.

He didn’t have his PTSD under control yet. What if he had an episode and hurt their child? She would never forgive him.

None of this needed to be said. She knew because she knew him.

“I’m sorry,” he said again because it was the only thing he could say.

“You’re a coward,” she snapped, a sob escaping her throat.

He reached for her, resting his hand on her shoulder, trying to comfort her. She shrugged his hand away and moved a few inches further along the patio.

It had been months since they shared any kind of intimacy. Not since they found out about the baby.

“I want to go home.” There was a mournful quaver to her tone. One he couldn’t ignore.

Though he was ripping his own heart out by uttering them, he still said the words. “You can go.”

She whirled to stare at him incredulously. “What?” Her eyes were wide, distrustful. “Seriously?”

She was so beautiful bathed in the red and orange hues of the sunset, her bottomless brown eyes, her curly hair a dark halo around her head, her softly rounded body… a pang of regret hit him. Why couldn’t he be the man she needed?

“It’s time,” he finally responded.

She arched an eyebrow. “It’s time? You’ve been ignoring me for weeks and weeks, forcing me to stay here when you all but blew up our fledgling relationship. You’ve kept me here for no reason. Why have you suddenly changed your mind?” When he didn’t speak, she balled up her fist and smacked him in the shoulder, not hard, but out of frustration. “Say something! You’ve destroyed my life, refused to let me go and now it’s time? Explain!”

Her voice was rising, but he heard panic and hurt, no real anger.

“It wasn’t for no reason.” He hated the pain written all over her face, hated himself for causing it. “I love you, Saskia. That hasn’t changed. I kept you because I love you.”

“Just not enough to love our baby too,” she shot back, swiping at the tears that were falling. “If you love me so much, then why send me home now?”

He realized that despite her request to leave, despite her anger, she didn’t really want to go. She wanted him to change her mind. But he couldn’t because she was right. She needed to get away from him and go to her family where she would be protected.

“It’s time,” he repeated, and this time she slapped him.

The brief physical pain wasn’t even close to what he deserved.

“I think… I think I hate you,” she sobbed, backing away from him.

“I may have ruined your life for a time, but it will get better. You’ll be happy again. Whole and healthy with a career and a life ahead of you.” A life without him.

“You don’t get to say that!” she cried. “You’re taking yourself out of my life because you’re too much of a coward to deal with your shit. You don’t get to decide what my future looks like anymore. If I’m… I mean if the baby and I are happy.” She touched her stomach. “It’ll be because of me, not because you left me.” She shoved past him toward the door.

“Saskia.” She stopped but didn’t turn to look at him. “The jet will take you to Prague tomorrow afternoon. I’ll let your cousin know to expect you. Take anything you want. Shola will go with you. Take Nonna and Nikka too, I’m sure they’d enjoy a vacation.”

Saskia nodded her agreement, but added in a dull voice, “You’re emptying the house of anyone who cares about you.”

“I’ll be fine.” He wouldn’t be fine, but he needed her to leave without looking back and if she thought he needed her, she might not go.

She nodded again and slipped through the door, closing it behind her.

He turned to find the sun had completely set. Clouds blanketed the sky and darkness fell over Marifiya.

He’d spent the past several years molding himself into a man Saskia could love. Without her, was he still the same man or was he the violent, ruthless warlord who’d painted a continent in blood?

It didn't matter because it was too late. He'd made her hate him. Forced her to leave. That night he slept fitfully, his dreams combining the violence of the past with the love he felt for Saskia.

The next afternoon, he insisted on driving her out to the airfield. Nonna, Nikka and Shola were in the vehicle behind them, and, as always, security vehicles surrounded the group.