Page 58 of The Devil’s Feather

“Always, canımın içi. My lovely windup girl. Always.”

I woke up some indeterminate time later with Rafael hovering over me, a look of concern stamped on his face.

I cupped his cheek. “Hey, I’m ok. I can’t always outrun the meltdowns. That one started when Dickhead McGee and friends knocked me down, and it came roaring back when those weirdos showed up. Are you ok?”

The lines in his face deepened. “I am incredibly fucking angry about today. If you had not been with me, that little encounter would have ended very differently.”

My heart rate sped up. “Then I’m glad I was. I don’t want you to get hurt fighting off some random dickheads. Please. I need you here with me.”

“I have survived worse than anything those shits can offer. But the idea of their harming you terrifies me in a way I can hardly describe. A way I have never truly felt before. If anything happened to you, I would be undone.” He closed his eyes. “You got a small taste of the worst of associating with me today. Does it make you want to run?”

I pelted his face with kisses. “It makes me want to stay right here in your arms forever. The more I learn about you, the more I love you. You are a very special person, Rafael Nazim. I can’t help but feel like fate brought you into my life.”

“I love you,” he said simply. “I want to keep you safe. What kind of flowers do you like?”

“You’re gonna think I’m basic, but red roses. Although I really prefer LEGO flowers these days because they’re cute and they don’t die. I’m blighted, I swear. Plants hate me.”

Rafael smiled. “All the LEGO roses for you, then.”

The quavering in my belly refused to subside. A tremor ran through me.

I burrowed deeper into his arms, smashing my face against his chest. “I don’t want to be apart. I’m scared to death now that something will happen to you and I won’t be here and I won’t even know.”

“Does that mean you want to move in?” The hope in his voice almost had me crying all over again.

“Yeah. I just need to get some things together. I’m worried about leaving my housemates in a lurch though. They can’t easily make up that rent, and finding a new roomie is so fraught.”

Rafael tilted my chin up. “I do not want to leave Deandra in a bad position either. Will you allow me to cover your portion of the rent until they figure it out? That way you can still go back there if you need your own space from time to time, and you can save your money. My schedule is erratic at best.”

“I’d like to be stubborn and refuse, but that’s very generous.” Truthfully, the idea of setting foot outside his safe fortress filled me with dread. “I’ll ask Princess if she’ll let me arrange remote work. There’s no real need for me to be in the office these days, anyway. I can start packing my stuff tomorrow.”

A smile broke across Rafael’s face like the first light of dawn.

16

TALE AS OLD AS TIME

While I’d boxed up my belongings, Annie had regaled us with tales of how fucked-up her Boomer boyfriend actually was—he’d divorced his wife when she’d gotten sick, and had the nerve to complain that his adult children wouldn’t talk to him. She’d wanted marriage and babies with Frank, but after finding that out, she was wavering.

To my surprise, Rafael had weighed in, asking what he did for work.

“He’s the CFO of a drug company,” Annie had said.

Rafael had grimaced. “This is what these executive men do. They gain some success, want traditional families completely dependent on them for bragging rights, get resentful of having to provide within the framework they created, and destroy those families for something shiny and new. Let me guess. He is a charming, generous white man, but he is rude to waitstaff.”

Annie hugged herself, face screwing up in distress. “But you’re rude.”

“To you. Not to service workers,” Rafael had said. “The best measure of a man is how he treats those he has power over.”

That line alone had made me swoon.

I dragged my hastily packed suitcase to the elevator. “You are a lot more compassionate than you come across.”

Rafael rested a box of books on his hip. “You will ruin my carefully cultivated reputation.”

“Your asshole mien?”

“My supreme manliness.” He coughed and made a disgusted face. “Feh, that tasted bad to say.”