Page 117 of When the Smoke Clears

“But it won’t be me.” I carry my phone into the bedroom and sit on the end of the bed to pull on my gray wool socks.

“Well,” she says with a deflated tone, “that’s true. There’s only one Dr. Everleigh Reichart.”

I grin.

“Still, please tell me you’re taking the job. Baltimore is a two-and-a-half-hour train ride from New York City.”

“I’m aware.” I plop back onto the bed, setting the phone beside me and then grabbing Will’s pillow to bury my face in it, in his familiar woodsy scent. The cotton is crisp like new sheets, a contrast to the soft cream sherpa comforter with a pine tree print.

“Let me guess, that’s one of the reasons you’re on the fence about taking the job?”

I chuckle, removing the pillow from my face. “It’s not the main reason, but it’s a reason.”

“Ugh! Everleigh, you know I’m a busy person. It’s not like I would take the train up there every weekend to see you.”

“No?”

“No. I’d just move there.”

“Stop.” I giggle, and so does she.

“I’m serious, sweetheart. Don’t pass up this opportunity because you’re worried I’ll suffocate you. And don’t pass it up for Will or any other guy. You deserve to be chased. Pursued. Respected. Coveted. And Will is a very nice man. Handsome to the extreme. But if he doesn’t want to chase you, then he’s not the one.”

“What if he wants to chase me, but he doesn’t want to leave his mom after his dad dies?”

“Yes, you want the man who loves his mother, but who loves you just a little bit more.”

“Spoken like someone who has never been married.”

“I’m observant. That’s what gives me wisdom and the clarity to see other people’s mistakes. I’m not blinded by love.”

“I’m not blinded by love, either.”

“So you’re going to take the job?”

“Yes,” I say for the first time, and my heart immediately dies in my chest.

I’m taking the job.

The doctor I’ve become doesn’t care about the stupid, lovesick girl beneath the white coat and well-practiced facade. I think of Austin, Emma, Bethany, Caleb, and the hundreds of other children I’ve helped. It would be stupid to choose a man who doesn’t love me the way I love him. And I’m not stupid. Well, starting today, I’m not stupid.

“Yes? Yesss!” Mom celebrates for both of us.

I smile through my tears.

I’m taking the job and leaving William Landry, hoping he’ll chase me. For the first time in my adult life, I’m thinking only about my career and the people whom I can help. Voltaire, Uncle Ben, and Will are right: With great power comes great responsibility.

“Okay. When? Do you need help moving? I can come help you pack your stuff and drive a moving truck as soon as I finish this commission piece. Whatever you need.”

Endless tears slide down the sides of my face as I stare at the ceiling. I took the job in Missoula because of William Landry. I bought ten acres overlooking the mountains. The barndominium was supposed to be a project Will and I worked on together. The Airstream. The trip here. It’s all for him.

The love I’ve had for this man feels like its own death as I prepare to leave everything behind.

“They’re paying all of my moving expenses. Besides, since my house burned down, I don’t own much. I’ll hire out the rest of the work on the barndominium and either rent it or sell it. I’ll sell my Airstream. I’ll just . . .” I pinch the bridge of my nose and bite my quivering lower lip for a second. “I’ll let it all go.” I’ll let him go.

“Can we talk about Will’s dad for a second?” she asks.

I sit up and wipe my face. “There’s nothing to talk about. He’s dying. I’m moving to Baltimore.”