Page 136 of Tell Me Something

I opened the bedroom door before Mark could answer and just stood there looking at Josh.

His eyes moved over me, and I immediately saw the grim set of his mouth. Why the hell was he here if he was going to look at me with hostility?

“Before you go and accuse me of sleeping with Mark, I’d like to point out he was on the couch. Unless, of course, you think that’s how I do things now. Shag and relegate to the sofa after.” I couldn’t help the sarcasm.

“I wasn’t implying anything. Fuck, it just took me off guard when I came in,” he said, sighing.

“I’ll, um, head home,” Mark offered.

I held up a hand. “Not so fast. It’s the middle of the night, and I’m not certain Josh is staying at this point.” Then a thought dawned on me. “Wait. How did you get in here? I locked the door. Matter of fact, now that I think about it, how did you get in yesterday, Mark?”

Both men looked at me, apparently without knowing what to say. I realized they’d only both have keys for one reason: Josh owned the building. “Unbelievable,” I muttered, watching Mark’s blush confirm my thought.

I turned around, shut my bedroom door, and collapsed back on my mattress. I didn’t need this shit right now.

The voices continued for a little while, and then I heard my bedroom door open. I listened to the rustle of clothing on the other side of the room and then felt the weight of Josh climbing into the bed. “If this is Mark, I was only kidding about the shag and couch routine.”

“Not funny,” he muttered, putting his arms around me from the back. “Are you mad about the building?”

“Considering you thought I’d become the campus slut and was trying to pin a pregnancy on you, I’ve got other things topping that list at the moment. Why are you here?”

He sighed. “Because I’m not going to let my trust issue prove a point with yours. I won’t abandon you. And I love you too much to let you go again.”

I flipped over so that I could face him. “So you got tested?”

He shook his head. “You know my history. Unfortunately, not much has changed in that department. I was unsuccessful in providing a sample.”

“I suppose that’s part of my devious plan, too,” I remarked dryly.

“I deserved that.”

I didn’t know how to respond, so I just stayed quiet.

“You looked so thin when I saw you in the doorway. Why didn’t you tell me you were so upset these last few weeks?”

“I just figured I’d blown it. If you were willing to let me go, then I reasoned you were ready to move on.”

“You thought that I let you go because I didn’t love you, but in fact I let you go because of how much I love you. I believed it was what you needed. I hoped every day to hear from you and thought maybe you’d moved on.”

“I fucked that up, too, then.” Tears stung my eyes.

He kissed me softly. “No, I did, for not understanding that I shouldn’t have waited six weeks. I should’ve kept showing you that I wasn’t going anywhere and known you’d feel like I was deserting you otherwise.”

I shook my head. “If I didn’t get that, how could you?”

“Because like you said, we’re not so different. We both have trust issues. Different circumstances but the same result in that we expect others to let us down. You didn’t trust that someone wouldn’t leave you again. I should have known you’d view our separation as just that.”

“You were so adamant when I left that this baby wasn’t yours. So what changed?”

“I thought about how you looked in the restaurant after Will texted me. You looked like how I’ve felt over the last few weeks. More importantly, you’ve never given me a reason to doubt your honesty. I was lumping you into an old scene with my ex instead of looking at you as you.”

Relief washed over me. “Thank you for that, but you still need to get tested. I could probably help you with the sample if you’d like?”

“You must really want me to get tested to offer that.”

“I don’t begrudge you getting confirmation. You had a vasectomy, and with what’s happened in your past…”

“Are you planning to keep it?” His voice was a whisper.