Page 57 of Unraveled

“I just hope my hair cooperates with me.”

My words caused her to frown. “Don’t get your hopes up, honey. Hair loss is a universal side effect of chemo. Could happen in the first round, could wait till the second, but the chances of keeping your hair are slim. But we’ll get you some wigs. How do your joints feel?”

“They’re stiff, but okay.”

“Good. Let’s get out and take a short walk. The fresh air will do you some good, both physically and mentally. I promise.”

A short walk later, and I was tired, but Patty had been right. The fresh air and muscle movement had felt good. After she left, I texted my family and settled in for my first Spanish lesson via Rosetta Stone. With this much time on my hands, it would be foolish to squander it.

Unfortunately, three hours later, the flu-like symptoms hit me. I became shivery and shaky. My bones and gums started to ache as if I had a heartbeat in them. When Patty arrived later in the afternoon, she encouraged me to keep eating—I stuck to cereal and Gatorade along with a few crackers. She reassured me about my white blood cell count. Despite my shivering, my temperature was okay, too. No fever, which was important. I spent the rest of the day in bed.

Around eight thirty that evening, Kellan sent a text indicating he was on his way over. I knew arguing with him was useless. He was stubborn in the most wonderful way. This evening he was as sweet as ever, arriving with chicken noodle soup and fresh bread from a local restaurant he’d Yelped.

“How you feeling?” he asked as we sat at the table.

“Not great,” I responded, sipping my soup. I wished it didn’t taste as bland as all the other food I’d eaten that day. “Sorry. I won’t be very fun to be around—probably for the rest of the week.”

He smiled. “It’s okay. I promise you’re better company than my empty house.”

At least there was that.

“Hey, I was thinking about last night. About mentioning the wedding. I didn’t mean to put any pressure on you. You certainly don’t have to go with me.”

Funny how I’d been anxious in thinking about attending, but now I felt disappointed that he might be changing his mind.

“You don’t want me to go?” My voice was as small as my confidence level, and I hated it. Hated being emotional about every single thing these days. I was a spool of emotional ribbon, unraveling one inch, one day, at a time.

“No, no. Of course I do.” He blew out a breath, seemingly searching for the right words. “I’d be absolutely thrilled to have you go with me. I didn’t want to be presumptuous about how you’ll be feeling. Or take any risks of you being exposed to anything while your immune system is taking a beating. But I’ll certainly take my cues from you. How does that sound?”

Reasonable. It sounded more than reasonable. I needed to repeat the R word to myself until it stuck. “Sounds good. Sorry. I’m being oversensitive. Maybe I’m going stir-crazy in this place.” One more reason to welcome a weekend away.

Over the last few days, I’d gotten tired of staring at the same sterile, rented walls. Although my job in LA had been demanding, I had enjoyed being active and social every day. The Spanish lessons and learning how to knit from Patty’s friend might be welcome distractions, but they didn’t make up for being stuck in this place.

“It’s understandable. How about spending this next weekend at my place? I’ll be putting in the floors and countertops on the second level, but at least it’ll be a change of scenery. We can go for walks around the lake.”

I hesitated for a moment, thinking about the amount of time we’d already spent together this week. But the idea of getting out of my apartment for a couple of days was too tempting to pass up. “Are you sure I won’t be in the way?”

He touched my face. “Never. As long as you don’t mind some noise. I have one of my guys coming over to help. We’ll get the floors knocked out on Saturday. That’ll only take a few hours. Countertops are being delivered, and I’ll install them on Sunday.”

Anything sounded better than spending another minute here.

“I’d love to come over.”

Chapter Eighteen

Kellan

By the time I drove home on Friday night after another fourteen-hour day, I was exhausted. I’d asked Layla about coming over tonight, but she indicated she’d rather come over tomorrow morning. She seemed to do best in the a.m. hours. Although I was tired from working so much, I looked forward to having her at my place for the entire weekend. I could tell she was bored in her apartment. Who could blame her? She’d gone from working a hectic schedule that included a busy social life to feeling ill and remaining confined to her home.

I sincerely hoped I wasn’t pushing her too much. I’d been especially worried about showing up for her chemo appointment. But I’d thought about Chad, who’d chosen his audition over being there with her during her appointment where she’d learned about her cancer. With that in mind, I felt I had to give her the choice in case she wanted me there. I needed her to see I was different. To believe I wouldn’t let her down.

My decision had been made after Russ had shared his concern about my being all-in or all-out. I knew I was all-in, at least when it came to a relationship with Layla. But I recognized she wasn’t ready yet. All the same, she had agreed to baby steps, and I’d take that. True, starting a relationship while she was going through cancer treatment presented a whole host of unpredictable challenges, but I was determined to be there for her.

I dialed her now to see how she was feeling.

Her groggy voice came through the speaker on my truck. “Hello.”

“Hi, beautiful. I hope I didn’t wake you.”