Page 57 of My Twin Sister

I don’t want to do that now. I only want to set things right. Everything. I think about the “episodes” Wyatt told me about and how I’m the reason she’s been such a mess. I text her again.

I’m sorry Gen. I love you. I’m the worst. Please forgive me.

I end the text with praying hands that I mean to be begging hands. She’ll get it. The diner comes into view, and I can see Murphy’s truck parked out front. My phone chimes and I exhale, relief flooding my system. I slide the device from my back pocket and the screen lights up. It isn’t my sister. It’s another unsaved number.

You’ve always been good at making a mess of things, haven’t you Grace? Maybe she won’t forgive you this time.

My hand shakes with the urge to send my phone flying through the air. I bet I could make it over the row of houses and into the rough waters behind them. But I can’t do that. It’s my only lifeline to my life outside this town, so I slide it back into my pocket.

Murphy is waiting at a table just inside, and I try to hide my sour mood.

“Oh, no,” he says when he sees me.

“What?”

“You’re in a mood.”

I let my mouth fall open and my hand perches on my hip. “Now how in the hell would you know that? You’ve seen me for two seconds.”

He laughs. “I’m sorry. Did you think you were hiding it?”

“No,” I say. He just looks at me. “Yes. But I didn’t even have a chance to hide it. I haven’t even sat down yet.”

He nods toward to the chair across from him. “Well, take a seat. I’ll pretend not to notice yet.”

I roll my eyes, but smile. “I don’t remember you being this annoying.”

“I’m just honored you remembered me at all. By the way,” he says, “Tara got you pretty good.” He leans across the table and brushes a thumb across the skin beneath my eye, careful not to touch my nose.

I try to hide the way my body trembles at his touch. He sits back in his seat and moves past the comment on my nose. “Is that a crack at my memory loss?”

He shakes his head. “No, no. It was a crack at me not being memorable.”

“You were plenty memorable,” I say, glad he doesn’t continue about Tara.

“Liar.” He laughs. “It’s okay. You don’t have to lie to me. I was stoned most of the time, sitting off to the side and under the radar.”

I try to remember him any other way, but he’s right. He had moments, times when he’d make a particularly funny joke that surprised me. Even a few more serious comments. Like the time I tried to convince the group to steal Morgan’s clothes while she ran naked into the lake. I dared her to do it, and it took a lot of convincing. When she finally ran toward the waves, her back end pale as the moon above us as she dived into the water, I thought it’d be funny to take her clothes.

Murphy didn’t think so.

“There’s a difference between being funny and being cruel. You’re being cruel,” he’d said.

It was a punch to the chest. It was cruel. Morgan was self-conscious. More like Geny than me in so many ways. I thought about how mortified Geny would be if someone did that to her and I felt bad. I felt worse because part of me knew it was mean when I suggested it.

“You had your moments,” I say.

“Sure.” He doesn’t look convinced. But he doesn’t look offended either. “Let’s order.”

We eat while taking turns bringing up different memories from when we were young. I’d forgotten just how much Murphy was part of my life back then. He was Wyatt’s best friend, so he was always around, but he seemed always off to the side. He was a lot more present than I thought he was.

When we’re done eating, I don’t want it to end. He apparently doesn’t either, because he leans in, a nervous look on his face.

“Feel free to tell me to fuck off,” he says, “but if you’re not doing anything, you can come by my place, have a few beers, and keep hanging out on memory lane.”

A small smile pushes its way onto my lips. “Sure,” I say, though it’s only one o’clock. He smiles and I follow him to his truck. It’s five o’clock somewhere.

I should go to Geny’s and push her to talk to me. But something tells me I need to give her time and a little space to forgive me. Wyatt said he’d talk to her, and I need to give him the chance to do that.