Page 61 of Abundance of Obsession

“He slapped you?”

Why do his words strike straight to my heart? Why do I feel my soul awakening after a hundred-year slumber? What’s happening?

And then, for the first time, I realize I’m not the only one playing this game. I’m not in this alone.

With one swift motion, I turn to face him.

He stands before me with his shoulders slumped, eyes fixed on the ground.

He looks like a helpless kid, not a grown man. He’s out of his comfort zone; I have no doubt about that. A playboy, a womanizer, the city’s most notorious bachelor. And yet here he stands before me, looking like a lost boy.

“You were worried about me,” I whisper. His head snaps up. “You were simply worried about me. That’s how people react when they care about someone.”

“That too. But it’s clear to me it’s about something bigger. Something I can’t even name. You don’t understand, Zoe. You’re not the only one who had a fucked-up childhood. According to popular belief, I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. That doesn’t mean life didn’t go to shit later on—” He pauses and shakes his head. “When Ryker asked me to keep an eye on you, it wasn’t a task I was at all reluctant to agree to. Then, and even before that, you were already in my thoughts. I don’t comprehend what I want to tell you. Jesus Christ, I’m as bad at this as a guy’s first time having sex…”

Unable to take my eyes off Eli, I fold my hands. I don’t interrupt him; I let him analyze himself. Inside, I believe this is necessary for him so he can finally move on from where he’s been stuck for so long.

Eli takes a breath and continues. “I guess what I mean is that I laid out the terms of our agreement myself. It’s purely sex, no feelings, no love. Love is an abstract concept to me. It seems I started breaking my own rules before we even made it to your bed. I mean, I don’t mean that I love you, no… Jesus, I’m screwing this all up again. I’m the one blurring that line in the sand, a simple and clear arrangement.”

Unable to bear it, I stand in front of him. My voice gentle, I try to calm him down. “Eli, you care about me. It doesn’t always have anything to do with that magical L-word. You can care about family, close friends, and sometimes even a stranger. Like you care about your brothers.”

“Except I wouldn’t have gouged Ash’s eyes out just because she went on a date with Ryker. When you left that apartment to meet Damien, I was so territorial toward you I couldn’t stop myself. With a lump in my throat, I listened to every word you two said. I clenched my fists with all your laughs, regretting with all my being that I wasn’t the one who made you laugh. With every compliment he paid you, I wanted to stab him straight through the heart. And not because you don’t deserve them—because he was telling the truth.”

Eli grabs the ends of his hair and yanks hard, like physical pain could replace the emotional one he doesn’t understand. And right now, I’m happy he didn’t get to see how Damien kissed my hand, or my lips, or placed his hand on my knee.

I’m uncertain if anyone in this world has witnessed this charming side of Eli Montgomery. He’s not only the big bad wolf, a member of the bloody Pact, a man for whom killing another human being makes no impression. He also has another side.

“Do you know what the difference is, Eli?” I place my hand on his warm cheek. “Whatever happened tonight, whatever you heard, I was faking it. Lying for the sake of our mission. There’s nothing about him that truly interests me. Not his whispered sweet nothings, nor anything else. I already know it could never be serious. With him, I don’t experience what I experience with you. To be completely honest, over the last few weeks, I haven’t stopped hoping for a single moment that you’d be the man who’d want to have that first time with me. You. Not someone else.”

He soaks up each word I say like a sponge, and the storm in his eyes calms down.

Eli takes a step, and the space between us vanishes completely. Our bodies touch. This alone gives me goosebumps.

“I’m fucking honored that it’s me. You don’t know how much,” he whispers in a choked voice, and then his lips meet mine.

Momentarily, I forget everything that has happened in the past few hours. The need to disinfect the wound. Damien and the shooting.

His lips taste like the most delicious sin, the kind you can’t bring yourself to refuse. They’re like heaven and hell all tangled up. This is the third time we've kissed. I have absolutely no doubt that I’m addicted to them. And I have no intention of ever escaping his clutches.

The hunger in every movement of his mouth is obvious. He bites my lip with such force that I taste blood, then quickly eases the pain with his tongue.

At that moment, I lose control of myself and shove my tongue into his mouth. I stroke his palate with it, run it over his teeth. And I can’t stop. It’s the only thing I can think about.

More.

I want more.

I need more.

My heart is racing, trying to break free from its cage. Its beat is thudding so loudly that I can hear it in my ears.

Gently, I run my hands through his hair, letting my fingers glide through the silky threads. My nails scratch his scalp. It’s still not enough for me.

It’s so damn hot. Every scrap of fabric touching my skin feels like a pinch. My desire is to tear all our clothes into pieces.

I lower my hands to Eli’s shoulders and bounce up and down.

This move makes him stop kissing me. A dissatisfied groan escapes my throat. I want to beg, Don’t stop.