Page 6 of Abundance of Obsession

The pros and cons create a mess in my head.

I’m glad Ash found her soulmate in this fucked-up world. Honestly. Then again, it’s not easy for me to adjust to a new life without her. For as long as I can remember, it has just been the two of us. Together, always.

Ash is more than just a sister to me. She has been a mother. Sometimes a father. And always a friend.

I put on a radiant face every time we see each other. I don’t want to worry her, so I pretend to be content and happy with my life. For her sake.

Looking around the immaculate living room and kitchenette, I put my hands on hips. It’s so clean, you could even eat off the floor. Everything’s in its place.

The books are in alphabetical order, the record collection too; carpets freshly washed, windows spotless. In my current obsession, I’ve gone so far as to move all the cabinets. That says a lot. We haven’t done that since we moved in.

Maybe I should get a dog? A cat?

I’m worried I’ll run out of things to clean soon—what will I do then? At least a pet would give me a date for Friday and Saturday nights.

Knocking suddenly echoes.

“Ash?” My wide-eyed look says more than my words when I crack the door. “What are you doing here?”

“What a warm welcome, sis. Can I come in?”

“Stupid question. Why don’t you just come in, instead of knocking like a total stranger?”

We head straight to the kitchen.

“I’d rather not walk in on you with some guy on the couch now that you live here alone. By the way, why do you open the door without checking through the peephole to see who’s there?”

My laugh is short and forced.

My hands go to the coffee machine and only then do I answer. “First, have you ever seen a guy here? I’m like a monk. It’s a real turn-off. Don’t expect that to occur anytime soon. As for your second question, who on earth would find me here?”

“This isn’t safe,” she says with disapproval, a scolding look in her eyes, and sits down by the kitchen island. The chair she always sits in. “You know we have enemies—even more now, with Ryker on board—so you have to look out for your own safety.”

For a moment I feel like a child again. Something inside me snaps. My muscles tense on their own. “Indeed, Ash, you have enemies. You—not me. I have nothing to do with this. This is your life, not mine.”

If I were a better person, I would already have remorse. My sister means well, and I react with aggression. It's beyond my control.

“Don’t be silly,” she says, raising an eyebrow. “We’re family, so this is our life. You know better than anyone what I’ve been doing for most of my life. It’s a threat to you too.”

I swallow the words pushing their way onto my tongue. Swallow them because I appear an ungrateful bitch when, in fact, I just miss her.

Why can't I be different? Why can't I act like the sister I used to be?

I set the hot coffee in front of Ash and pull the tequila out of the fridge for myself. Sitting across from her, I pour a shot, down it, and then pour another.

I give her a defiant look, and in response, she gives me another scolding one. Oh, God. I certainly hate that look on her face.

But beneath it all, there’s still concern in her eyes. That kills me even more.

“Isn’t it too early for tequila? Are we celebrating something, Zoe?”

I shake my head. The tequila was supposed to calm my irritation. It’s screwing this up. “It’s as good a time as any. Why are you here, Ash? Don’t you have a husband at home waiting for you? I bet he’ll call in the next five minutes, asking where you are.”

My dig fuels the storm clouds above us when Ash’s phone, lying between us, suddenly starts vibrating. A photo of Ryker appears on the screen with the caption my and a heart emoji.

We both roll our eyes at the same second. Still, Ash doesn’t answer, and we both know he’ll call again soon.

So I sigh and knock back the next shot.