Page 25 of Abundance of Obsession

Something tells me she’s embarrassed. “No fucking way. What did you mean?”

“I just wanted to fuck someone, okay?”

Now I feel even dumber than I did before this whole conversation. Nothing fits together, and nothing in the world pisses me off more than not understanding. It’s imperative that I learn. That I understand. Everything is a puzzle, and only when the last piece clicks into place does it make sense.

An unwanted vision pops into my mind, and I see red. I choose my next words with care, but I speak them in a grave voice. “You wanted a one-night stand to grow up? Does that have anything to do with growing up?”

Zoe looks out the side window again. Her whisper is barely audible. “Well, it does. I’m twenty-three. That’s the only thing left connecting me to being childish.”

“I don’t want to burst your bubble, but sex has nothing to do with being an adult. Neither does your age.”

The fire reignites within her, and I see it out of the corner of my eye as she turns toward me.

“You’re only saying that because a different girl warms your bed every night. I told you, you wouldn’t understand,” she says.

Her words hit me hard. I am who I am for a reason. My analytical mind is working overtime as I park right next to her apartment. I turn off the engine and look at her, blinking like an idiot because that’s how I feel. Like an idiot.

“And no guy is warming your bed. Is that what you’re trying to tell me? That you’re a virgin?”

Zoe’s eyes widen. Is it because I guessed, or because she revealed too much? I don’t know.

Now she’s watching me like a hawk. Frowning. Searching for something in my face. “You’re not laughing at me?”

“Should I? Do you think that’s what I should do?”

She shrugs and looks away for a moment. “I’m a twenty-three-year-old virgin. A rare case.”

I grab her chin and turn her to face me. “It doesn’t matter whether you’re twenty-three or forty. Virginity isn’t a burden you have to cast off. The first time you have sex is a single, unique moment, and—”

“Don’t tell me now it should be magical with someone I’ll love. Fathers tell their daughters fairy tales. But you’re forgetting I never had one. I won’t wait until I love someone or someone loves me, because I might never get to experience that in my life.”

I knew it. I fucking knew it!

“I can always help you with that if you want to grasp what all the fuss is about.”

I clench my jaw because it seems it’s the only way to keep my messed-up brain from running away with my mouth. I can’t believe I said that. It slipped out accidentally, but I was serious.

Zoe doesn’t stop drilling those green eyes into me. Doesn’t say a word. I get the impression she’s barely breathing.

“Breathe,” I order her. “Forget I said that.”

But she either doesn’t hear my words or is ignoring them. “Would you do that for me? Would you help me?”

What’s a man supposed to say to that? I don’t see a good way out of this situation.

“Zoe. I think you should sleep it off. Give yourself some time. It’s easy to regret things; it’s harder to make the right decision.”

Even when I hear my own words, I feel like it’s bullshit from a jerk trying to buy time.

And then I hear the words coming from her lips, and I’m lost. “I’d like you to be the one I give my virginity to.”

Holy shit!

Those words unlock images I’d absolutely never allowed myself to see before. Zoe and me, tangled in the sheets, her hot skin, her flushed cheeks, mouth open in a silent scream, her body arching… The look on her face when she comes for the first time in her life.

It’s getting tight in my pants.

I take my hand off her face and clench it into a fist so I don’t grab her again. My thoughts need clearing. They’re dirty—which is how I like them best. But this is about Zoe. Ryker will rip my head off, and Ash will gladly cut me to pieces with her knife.