Page 122 of Abundance of Obsession

That doesn't stop this, and doesn't stop him.

He says something to me, but I don’t want to hear his voice. I don’t want to see his face either. I squeeze my eyelids tightly shut and allow myself to see only one face.

Eli. Eli. Eli…

Damien was right when he said he was my worst nightmare. Even though Eli’s face doesn’t pull me out of these clutches and I don’t wake up, it helps me escape somewhere far away. Not to look. Not to think. Not to feel.

Just his face.

Eli. Eli. Eli…

Damien—Zade— sits on the edge of the bed, elbows resting on his knees, face staring out at the ocean.

I’m in a fetal position, pressing my legs against my chest. Everything hurts, and I feel ashamed. Why? I don't know.

My hands shake as I pull a corner of the sheet over myself.

I don’t want him to look at me. I want to be invisible.

My head throbs from crying, and I’m feeling sick. And yet, it feels like it’s not me lying here. Like I’m watching someone else entirely.

But it's true.

Breathe in... Breathe out...

“How did you figure it out?” I ask quietly. The last thing I can do is ask the questions that are tormenting me.

He gives me a quick glance over his shoulder. “How did I know it was you? You made a mistake with Owen. You see, I had to meet him that evening, after his fight. He never made it there. Before your boyfriend got to the club’s security footage, I got there first. Imagine my surprise when I saw the woman I’m dating on the footage. It didn’t add up. So I got the guest list for that night. I was even more surprised when Lily Montgomery wasn’t on it. You used fake details. That set off a red flag in my head. Because if this woman had at least two identities, how many more did she have? And which one was real?

“I’m no fool, and I checked you out right from the start of our relationship. It seems you put a lot of effort into creating this entire persona and her documentation. Nothing sparked my suspicion. After Owen, I asked someone at DHS for help. A scan of your face told me everything I needed to know. And to think I really wanted to build something serious with you. That you were the only woman I didn’t treat like an object…”

“That gift, the cat’s head, was from you,” I guess.

“Yes. From me. Did you think your little revenge scheme would work? I figured it all out as soon as I got confirmation of what happened to Nathaniel and Jeremiah, and finally to Owen.”

“Why didn’t you just kill me?” I don’t let up on the questions.

“Why? That would be too easy. Killing you would be too easy. I want you to live so that every day you remember… that you let me into your world. You’ll see in the mirror the woman who is her own archenemy. You’ll hate yourself every single day, hate every inch of your own body. For what you did to them.”

We can agree on that much.

“They deserved it. You all deserved it.”

“It’s hard to disagree with you,” he says and shrugs. “I’ve always been a curious guy. And this time, you led me to your sister, who became the wife of the Pact’s leader, and to the rest of your friends. I just don’t understand why they let you do that.”

“They didn’t know,” I say, resigned. I’ve failed in every single aspect of my plan. I've failed them.

“Bullshit. Personally, I think you were supposed to spy on them, but it doesn’t matter anymore.”

I think I should ask why it doesn’t matter. I should be interested in that. I don't have the energy.

A single tear rolls down my cheek. Its warm trail marks me.

“You’re on the wrong side, Zoe. The Pact won’t protect you. You’ll suffer even more,” Damien warns me.

“Are you talking about Aiden wanting to join forces with you?” The words slip out before I can stop them.

He’s laughing so hard his head snaps back. And when the laughter dies down, he gets up from the bed, straightens his shirt, and finally turns back to me. Slowly, he sizes me up.