Page 93 of The Little Shop of Curiosities Cursed Object 1, The Music Box

“Sam, I’m going to say something now that you might not want to hear.”

I stare at him.

“The world doesn’t revolve around you,” he says firmly but not unkindly. “Danny made his choices and was prepared to live with the consequences of his actions. Just as your mum made her choices, right or wrong. Guilt is a pointless emotion unless you learn something from it. It’s not there for you to keep punishing yourself for things beyond your control. Maybe you did shut your mum out, but you did it without realising because you were in too much pain to see hers. It’s not unforgivable, Sam. You’re there now, aren’t you? As soon as you knew she needed you, you were straight in the car and driving north even though you didn’t want to set foot anywhere near Leeds.”

“You make me sound like some kind of martyr, but being in her house, picking up all her belongings, I’m overwhelmed with the psychic readings I keep getting. It’s excruciating to feel her hurt and sadness for me, her disappointment in herself. Her loneliness.”

“Would she move down to London?”

I shake my head. “No, Leeds is her home. She’s lived in this house for over thirty years, and it wouldn’t be fair to move her. Everything is familiar here, and she does have friends, if she hasn’t managed to alienate them over the past year. Although I’m pretty sure there’s nothing she could do to lose Trev.”

“Are they…?” He leaves the question hanging.

“Just between us?” Harrison nods. “He’s been in love with her for as long as I can remember.”

“And she doesn’t feel the same way?”

“Honestly? I don’t think she actually knows. She’s completely oblivious. After the excruciating relationship she had with my father, which was where her drinking problem stems from, I don’t think she can gauge men’s interest in her. She doesn’t see herself worthy of love. She never has.”

“Oh, Sam,” he sighs.

“I know.” I shake my head. “Sometimes I want to bang Mam and Trev’s heads together. At this rate, they’ll both be drawing their pensions before she realises how he feels.”

“You’re lucky my dad’s not there.” Harrison chuckles. “He’d be matchmaking them both to within an inch of their lives.”

“Maybe they need it.” I snort quietly. “Prickles?”

“Yes?”

I finally admit the fear in my heart. “She might be sick. I’m not talking about the drinking. The booze has been masking a lot of pain she’s been in for the past year or so. They’ve been running lots of tests, but they’ve found a mass on her ovary.”

“A tumour?”

“Yes. They don’t know yet if it’s benign, could just be a cyst, but given her age and the fact she’s heading towards menopause anyway, they’re recommending a full hysterectomy. Either way, they’re going to have to remove it because of its size. But if she opts for the hysterectomy, it’s a big recovery, especially on top of–”

“The alcoholism recovery?”

“Yeah.” I exhale loudly. “I can’t leave her. It could be months before I’m able to come back to London.”

“Do you think you will?” he asks quietly. “Come back at all?”

“I want to. Leeds feels like I’m wearing clothes a size too small. It doesn’t fit properly anymore. Besides, I have my business—well, whatever I’ll be able to salvage from it. And Danny and Tris are there…and you.”

“I hope you do come back.”

“I will. I just don’t know when.” We watch each other quietly. “Prickles?”

“Yes?” he whispers.

“You know you told me that I quiet something inside you?”

“Yes.”

“You do the same for me,” I admit. “I’m not sure what that means exactly, but I do know I don’t want to lose it.”

“Sam,” he says in that soft tone I like so much, “I’m not going anywhere. You may be miles away for however long it takes, but I’ll still be here for you to talk to whenever you want or need.”

“Thank you.” I smile slowly. “You know that goes both ways right?”