Page 119 of Arctic Titans of Northwood U: Volume 3

I was the third, though. I was the observer. Had they decided to buy a toy instead, it would have done my job. That was what I brought into this world.

As I walked to the bus stop, I wished I’d run into an unhappy couple instead. Unhappy couples had nothing to lose. Unhappy couples never left me feeling like I’d been an intruder in their perfect little homes.

Not that it was their fault. They simply were all that I had never been, all I never could be.

Sweet Harry and sweet Selene. Damn. Leaving them behind with the knowledge that they had their perfect world intact and I was no longer inside it made my heart ache a little more than it should have.

By the time I returned to the team house, the meeting was almost over. Griffin had a mischievous spark in his eyes as I entered the house, poking Andrei with his elbow to look at me. The corners of Andrei’s lips ticked up in a knowing smile.

“What did I miss?” I asked.

Keiran rolled his eyes. “Everything, but you’ll catch up as usual.”

I gave him a two-finger salute. “Aye, aye, Captain.”

One by one, the teammates left. Mason grabbed snacks from the cupboard and went to his room. Toby waved us goodbye and went out. Sunday mornings were slow around here. Some guys went to the gym; others went back to their dormitories if they didn’t live with the team. Griffin and Andrei remained on the sofa, and I flopped into the large armchair.

“So,” Andrei said. “How was your night?”

I narrowed my eyes and read his sneaky expression. “I think you already know.”

“We weren’t stalking you,” Griffin said.

“Let me guess. You were having kebabs across the street when I passed by with a girl under one arm and a guy under the other,” I said.

The two of them chuckled. Andrei’s eyes glimmered with curiosity. “Are you in a throuple, Damon?”

I snort-laughed. “God, no. I can barely put up with myself. Imagine the horrors!”

“Where do you find these people?” Griffin asked.

“Why? Are you already looking for a third?” I asked with genuine concern. “You guys don’t need that.”

They looked at each other so lovingly that it made me clench my teeth to stop a moan from leaving my body. It was so sweet it hurt.

“Us?” Griffin laughed. “No way. But you gotta see it. I’ve never noticed so many open relationships until I became friends with you.”

“Welcome to the modern times,” I said, opening my palms like a clerk at a hotel front desk. “People realized that sex has nothing to do with loving one another. Why not drink and screw and fill the hole in your chest with cheap thrills?” I shook my head. “Fuck, I sound bitter. Don’t mind me.”

“You do, though,” Andrei said. That, too, was a real concern. “Did something happen?”

“No,” I said. “No, not at all. They’re perfect. They’re like you two. Perfect for each other.”

Griffin cocked his head to the side. “But you don’t seem happy with the way things are.”

“I should be,” I said honestly, then got up. There was the scent of coffee in the air. The pot was traditionally empty, but that was a small problem to solve. “Fuck, but I should be,” I muttered to myself.

“Why don’t we go out one of these nights? Just the three of us. Forget about the team and everything,” Andrei said.

“Sounds like fun,” I said without committing to it. I liked these guys. I liked them enough to want to be friends with them, especially since they had been put through hell in order to say the things they had never dared utter aloud. Griffin had declared his love for Andrei on a livestream before hundreds of thousands of viewers. The clip of him kissing Andrei on the ice in front of a cheering crowd of hockey fans had exploded, getting fifty million views on the Blades of Northwood TikTok alone. That didn’t even come close to the number of fan edits that took the internet by storm in the months that followed.

But his speech about the way we’d all lost parts of ourselves to the newfound fame had shifted something critical last year. The show had switched its tone and production rate to be more respectful of its subjects. We had all lived a little freer last semester, thanks to Griffin. We all owed him for that.

I’d never had the balls to fall in love like that. Well, almost never. I’d come close a couple of years ago. It was something I didn’t like thinking too much about. It had gone nowhere, so it didn’t warrant dwelling on.

As the coffee maker slurped the water from its container and heated it into the steam above the filter and the finely ground coffee, my gaze wandered out of focus.

A July evening replaced the August morning. Instead of the house and the coffee and the teammates, there was a field of grass, an apple tree, and a shirtless young man with hands tucked under his head, a round face satiated and glowing with comfort, eyes twinkling with mischief, and the shadows of defined muscles still trembling from exertion. He’d pulled his shorts back up, as had I, but the taste of him still lived on my tongue.