Page 66 of Arctic Titans of Northwood U: Volume 2

“Nobody ever hugged me like that,” I said. “You told me it was called…er, what was it?”

His eyebrows jumped playfully and he smiled for real. “Apapachar. It’s a Mexican Spanish word. We don’t have a word for it in English.”

“Yeah, but you told me,” I said.

He bit his lip and glanced at me. Our gazes met for an instant before he looked away. “Hugging with your soul.” His lip quivered as he set his beer on the floor.

I moved swiftly, setting my can out of the way and leaning forward. My arms were around him in such a steel grip that he couldn’t break out of it even if he tried. His head rested on my shoulder and my chest pressed hard against his. So hard that I nearly felt his heartbeat against mine. Or imagined it very clearly. My hands rested on his broad upper back and he surrendered to the hug. That was what it meant to hug with your soul. It meant to give all the comfort someone needed and more.

It wasn’t just limbs that twined and bodies that touched. It was the explosion of feelings that accompanied the hug.

Sebastian shuddered in my arms and I held him tighter.

The fingers of my left hand played with his thick curls as I ran my hand over the back of his head. “It’s not your fault,” I whispered. “It’s not your fault.” As my grip on him relaxed, he looked into my eyes. We were barely a few inches apart and the heat of his body wrapped me into a hold of its own.

“Do you mean it?” he whispered.

“I know it,” I said. “Screw them all. You’re the best person I know, Sebastian. It’s not fair, but you’ll get better.” It was a promise. And I would be there for every step along the way. He knew it.

When we pulled back a little further, we drained our cans in silence. He seemed a little less beaten and that made the drama with Courtney worth it. I hated to admit it, but this mattered more to me. Who am I kidding? I thought. I don’t hate admitting that.

When Sebastian got up and sat on the edge of his bed, he looked at me. “Do you want to sleep here again?” he asked shyly, taking me back to my memories again.

My heart leaped and I grinned. “Of course I want to.”

We dressed for bed, killed the lights, locked the door, and I slipped under his comforter. If I didn’t hug my friend for eight hours straight, were we even friends? He’d done the same for me.

The thing about Sebastian was that he ran hot. Like a private little furnace, he was an ideal bed companion for cold nights. Holding my left arm around him kept me warm and cozy all the while giving him the safety to sleep off the worst of his feelings. And when I woke up the next morning, we had turned around in the bed, and Sebastian was spooning me instead. His hand practically covered the side of my face and each breath he inhaled massaged my upper back gently.

I wished it wasn’t morning already. I just wanted to stay here and do nothing else.

Chapter Five

SEBASTIAN

The final semester’s workload slammed me out of nowhere. It was a blessing from above. The swim-or-sink situation I found myself navigating meant I had to ignore everything that didn’t directly affect my end results. Even if it was my broken heart and bruised pride.

Grit your teeth, kid, I told myself. This isn’t a choice.

Dragging my ass around campus or walking with my head held high was irrelevant. All that mattered was that my assignments were submitted on time, my record was clean, and my drills were done to the best of my abilities.

There were moments when I caught myself sitting at my desk or standing in the locker room shower, blanking out, not even sure for how long. Then, as my brain tried to catch up with reality, I would feel like Sisyphus in the moment he reached the peak of the mountain. I would know exactly what it felt like to see the boulder roll down the slope.

Every time I worked hard and did what I had always considered the ultimate achievement in life, it would all roll away from me. It would all unravel and come undone. I would be left alone to gather the pieces and start over.

Well, not entirely alone.

Right now, as I dried myself with a big towel, my skin sensitive from the hot shower, I knew that Tyler was waiting for me. This entire week, he had been waiting for me. After lectures, after drills, and after our Wednesday game. Tyler always had a reason to be near me and I ran out of reasons why he should be elsewhere. It was pointless to argue with him. He wouldn’t let me be alone. He knew it was the worst thing to do and he made it his job to keep me busy and entertained.

I couldn’t think what I’d done to deserve someone like him.

Our Titans were scattered around the locker room. Some had already left, others were naked and rummaging through their duffels. I paused at the door from the showers to the locker room. I was the last one out, a towel tied around my waist.

Beckett was half-dressed, teasing Caden with his wet towel and laughing at Caden’s protests. It was such a high-school tease that it was almost charming. The two grappled, but Caden slammed his lips against Beckett’s and I considered it a truce. Elsewhere in the locker room, Sawyer was dressed for a walk in the cold night, talking on the phone, laughing. He was undoubtedly meeting Noah. And I didn’t have to wonder where Avery was heading in such a hurry. Then, as my gaze moved from one guy to the next, I found Tyler. He stood with a towel tied around his waist and a pair of black boxer briefs in his right hand. He held his phone in his left hand, typing something quickly. His expression wasn’t very tranquil.

My heart murmured that I should try pushing him away again. It didn’t take a lot for me to see that I was an obstacle in his relationship. Yet he would refuse to talk about it. He would be the same old stubborn Tyler, putting everyone else before himself.

And I had to admit that I depended on him. I wasn’t sure what I felt about it, but it was a fact. Right now, I needed him to make me laugh, to get me drunk, to share my bed, and to tell me to stop spiraling into self-pity. “Cry it out and move on,” he had told me.