Page 88 of Arctic Titans of Northwood U: Volume 1

And my heart nearly exploded in my chest. The spark of mischief in his eyes was overshadowed by the pure, unfiltered longing that radiated out of him. He was honest. He was saying that because he wanted me to know and not because he was polite.

It took effort to resist the urge to pull him in and hold him so tightly that he couldn’t breathe. I didn’t want to come across as a pathetic, clingy guy who was desperate for attention right after losing his virginity.

But Sawyer wasn’t a clingy guy and he had lost his virginity a long time ago. So, when he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in so hard that our bodies nearly melted into one another, my heart wanted to break out of my chest and my stomach was filled with butterflies taking flight.

He kissed my cheek, then my lips, and I realized how little I had expected of this. I hadn’t gone so far as to imagine what it would look like to lie in bed after sex, but to be kissed was a surprise. Had I given it any thought, I would have discovered that my expectation was to be left alone.

I very much preferred what Sawyer was doing.

Chapter Nine

SAWYER

Although we had a late start on Saturday morning and I had gotten plenty of opportunity to explore every line and curve and shadow of his torso with my fingertips as he dipped in and out of tranquil sleep, my head was still filled with Noah as I headed back to the house. It was especially so because of the kiss at his door on my way out. He had seemed so uncertain whether to try for it or not. Like last night, he had desperately begged for it with his eyes and the teeth holding his lower lip, then was genuinely surprised when I took his shoulders in my hands and stilled him for a deep and passionate kiss.

I had left Noah blushing and decided it was the wisest to try for a date test once again before letting him pass. The first round was way too much fun to leave it at that. But for the second, I had grander ideas.

It was only unfortunate that the second date wouldn’t happen for at least another week. Already at our morning practice, Coach Murray announced schedule changes for our matches. And if that wasn’t bad enough, the locations rotated, too. And, as Saturdays went, I was busy with conditioning in the afternoon, and then writing up an essay for World Literature, which was a drag. It wasn’t until nine in the evening that I succeeded at peeling myself off the desk chair in my room.

“Staying the night again?” Avery asked. The flat and expressionless tone he used hid the coy and teasing sting well, but not well enough. I knew better than to take Avery the way he presented himself.

I snorted and scanned the almost curious twinkle in Avery’s eyes. “I’m only going for a walk.” Somehow, telling anyone, even my best friend, about Noah felt like sacrilege. He had trusted me to be his first. He had practically asked me for help in stepping over that invisible threshold. And no matter how common it was for Avery and I to brag to each other in passing, I couldn’t do it when it came to Noah.

“Alright, keep your secrets,” Avery teased. His gray eyes seemed to hold knowledge he had no way of possessing.

“No secrets here, buddy,” I insisted. “You should know that by now.”

Avery pressed the tip of his finger against the side of his nose. “Don’t I know it.”

I swallowed a laugh and went out. The conversation, however brief, was on my mind as I crossed the blocks between the house and the dormitories. This wasn’t the only thing that felt different when it concerned Noah. Last night, when we’d been together, every shred of my being was on alert. I hadn’t wanted him to be in pain. I hadn’t wanted him to experience even the slightest discomfort. And though he hadn’t cared for anything but to be done with it, I wanted him to be able to look back on it with something other than a shudder or embarrassment. And he had been perfect. He had been so wonderful that I couldn’t get him out of my head.

And that sensation was new to me.

There was a small part of me that felt deep shame at admitting this. The best excuse I could offer was that I didn’t know any better, but that was already a slippery slope. In truth, it was pretty inexcusable. I had never before put the other person’s needs before mine. I had never before been in a situation where it felt like I definitely needed to. But with Noah, I had known, instantly, that my sole purpose was to show him there was nothing scary and terrible about it. Initially, I had put my own enjoyment aside. I had intended for him to have the best time, regardless of my rising passion and desire for rough play that was more than inappropriate for a virgin’s first time.

And then, pure magic happened.

In the end, I had enjoyed myself so much more, despite the effort to show him what lovemaking was all about and to avoid my not-so-tame cravings.

When I found myself knocking on his door, my heart tripped. I was leaning against the doorframe, my left arm bent a little above my head. The footsteps were as swift as ever and I already expected to find him wearing little more than his underwear in the sweltering heat.

“Hey, cutie,” I said as he opened the door, then decided not to cringe at myself. He was, genuinely, cute. His hair was messy and his glasses were perched on the tip of his nose. His cheeks were red, complementing his green eyes, but he was also fully dressed. And he had company.

Noah’s eyes widened. “Be right back, Jake,” he said, then shut the door behind his back and found himself safely pinned against it. I let my weight press against him as I leaned in and kissed those juicy red lips. After that, he took a moment to inhale and blinked fast a few times. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

“Sorry. I wasn’t thinking. Of course, you’re all booked up.” I didn’t let my disappointment show. This wasn’t about me, for once. “I just wanted to see you.”

Something almost like a chuckle left him, except it sounded too similar to an excited squeal. “That’s okay.”

So, I looked at him. I took all of him in. His scents, his warmth, his flavors. I kissed him one more time, then decided to do what I had come for. Well, one of the things I had come for. “So, I had a schedule change,” I said. “We’re doing a scrimmage tomorrow night, then we’re off to Chicago for a charity game before our match there against the Northern Wolves. I thought I’d be here until Wednesday, and I won’t be back until Friday.”

“Um…” Noah’s brow creased. “Okay.”

And it hit me as abruptly as if someone had snuck up on me and struck the back of my head with an iron skillet. He didn’t expect me to keep him looped in. But, as I considered this and reminded myself of all his pleased sighs this morning while we had been making out, I also understood why he had no expectations of me. He simply didn’t believe I would tell him where I was and when I was free. We didn’t have that kind of relationship.

I cleared my throat and cracked a smile. “So, if you’re free on Saturday, I’d like to hang out. And if you’re not…” I pushed into him, pinning him against the door once more, and leaned in to whisper into his ear. “You better reschedule whoever’s keeping you busy.”

Noah instantly shuddered and reached to hold the side of my torso. “Fuck. Yes. Okay. I’m free on Saturday.”