Page 82 of Arctic Titans of Northwood U: Volume 1

“Easy,” Sawyer whispered. “Relax.”

I can’t believe that you like me, I wanted to say, but I changed my mind. It was wiser to stay silent than speak too soon. Still, he’d said it, and then he’d asked if he could kiss me. If anything had surprised me, it was the question. Sawyer seemed like the type of guy who kissed whoever he liked, assuming he was welcome because no one had ever said no to him.

My heart thumped hard in my chest as the key turned in the lock and we entered my room. The lower of the two switches turned the lamps and the Christmas lights around the room on. The heat of the broken radiator was more than I could bear in this state, but I didn’t move to open the window. Instead, I tucked my hands into my pockets and stepped a little back from Sawyer.

He looked around, as though he’d never been here before, then fanned his face. “Still simmering,” he said, then shrugged his black bomber jacket off and examined me carefully while hanging his jacket by the door. “Did I ever tell you how good blue and brown look on you?”

My ears pulled back as I grinned. This wasn’t nearly as innocent as Sawyer commenting on my wardrobe as a dating tutor. This was a guy giving me a compliment. It was almost unheard of. “I don’t think so,” I said with a shrug, not because I wanted more compliments, but because I didn’t want to lie to him again. Telling him the truth about being a virgin turned out to be the best damn thing I’d ever done.

“Well, the outfit is fire,” he said. “Darker colors let your eyes glow.”

I was about to wheeze. He stepped closer to me and I had a moment of utter imagination. My mind was filled with all the little glimpses of what I hoped for. My fingertips brushing against his skin. A sigh between our lips as our naked torsos touched. His hands everywhere on me. His cock…

I choked.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

I nodded. “Great.”

He took a step back, then glanced at the shelf where my wireless speaker was. “Do you mind?” He slipped his phone out, signaling he would choose our music.

“Be my guest.” I waited as he hooked up the speaker to his phone, then shuffled through his playlists. Classic rock filled the room moments later, although I didn’t recognize the song. “I thought you were into more, erm, demonic music.” I took my jacket off and hung it next to his.

He snorted and shook his head. “I am, but I’m a very diverse character.”

“Mm.” I was glad of the music because the silence would be heavy otherwise. My heart beat restlessly and my anxiety was spinning out of control. I had rarely wanted something this badly. And after all the little glimpses of Sawyer’s personality — who am I kidding? His freaking amazing body, too — I finally dared to believe he was within my reach.

“Do you want to kiss me again?” he asked.

I admired the shameless confidence in the simple way he asked that question. He spoke it almost like he was asking me if I wanted the last bagel.

“Hell yeah.” I breathed the words out and tensed as he approached me.

“It’s okay to be nervous,” he said, then nudged me to my bed.

My mind raced. Bed. Beds were where people had sex. Sex was what I wanted with Sawyer. Sawyer was here. Tonight. Willing. We were going to have sex. I was going to hyperventilate and faint.

But he was steady as we sat on the edge of the bed and turned to face each other. I wanted him to kiss me and sweep these thoughts away. I wanted him to take me and do all the things to me, so that I could finally graduate in life. So I would be free of this embarrassing cloud that followed me everywhere.

“We don’t have to do anything more than make out,” Sawyer said simply. “Not that I don’t want to. Because, fuck, I can’t believe you’re into me.” He was as open and free with words as I had ever seen him. “But if it’s too much, we can do whatever you want.”

At this point, I no longer knew where the heat was coming from. It seemed to be everywhere. In the room, in me, in him, and in the space between us. A bare wire connected our bodies and the current made it blow.

I cleared my throat and looked into his eyes. “Listen,” I said, my voice warning him not to be shocked. “I’ve been prepping the whole afternoon. If I don’t have sex tonight I think I’ll go crazy.”

“Look at you,” he said, half proud and half turned on, leaning in. “You just said sex without short circuiting.”

I laughed and gently pushed his chest. It was a mere playful gesture, little more than a touch, but it opened the doors to a whole new reality. Sawyer recoiled from the push as though I’d punched him, then laughed and leaped at me, rolling me onto my back in a sweeping move, and wrestling his way on top of me.

I yelped and laughed, but his mouth on mine shut me up. His tongue found mine in an instant and my soul left my body. I drifted far beyond the confines of the room, then hurried back because I didn’t want to miss a moment of him touching me.

He sprawled out on top of me, careless for my lack of air, and kissed me deeply until every inch of me was taut with expectation.

We grappled playfully, his hands wrapping around my wrists. I tried to break free of his hold as he bared his teeth, our sighs burst out of us in short and shallow breaths. I inhaled, wrenching my arms free of his hold, then fought back by digging my fingers into his ribcage and making him wiggle.

In all the years of watching adult actors move through their pretend foreplay, I had never seen a single one like this.

When I grabbed Sawyer’s wrists, we glared at each other, faces flushed and bodies heating. “You’re fighting a goalie, rookie,” he growled, but he underestimated how hard I could cling to his arms and how long I could endure his wiggling. “You’re so gonna lose.”