Page 46 of Arctic Titans of Northwood U: Volume 1

“What are you talking about?” I demanded, my own temper rising.

“Spare me,” he said darkly. “If you’re gonna pretend you don’t know what this is about, you can just fuck back off to California right now.”

“Jesus.” Anger filled me and I stepped up closer to him. “It’s not like that. I just met with the guy. You met with him, too.”

Riley shook his head. “It’s not the same.”

“How so? I just took his fucking card. What did you do that’s so different? Say no? It’s fucking unfair that you’re this angry with me.” I stopped and waited for him to say something, but his lips curved down and he shook his head some more.

“I’m not angry, Cam,” he said softly and I could hear the door to his heart shut and lock. “I’m being stupid. We both know where we’re headed. I’m getting worked up over nothing, because I knew this would happen, Cam.” He chewed his lower lip for a moment, then shrugged. “We were doomed from the start.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I asked, louder than I had wished to. “Riley, we’ve been doing this for months. Are you just…dropping it? Because I met with an agent? I didn’t even know there was a meeting.”

“Nah,” Riley said, voice breaking. “I’m saying we’ve been making a mistake for months. Don’t tell me you imagined a bright future where we just lived happily ever after.” The bitterness in his tone bruised me more than I had expected.

“I…don’t know. I don’t know what I imagined.” It wasn’t exactly your usual happy ending that I saw for us. I knew, deep down, where life was taking us. “I just wanted to enjoy the time we had.”

He narrowed his eyes at that and I knew I’d said the worst possible thing ever. “Time we had? Jesus, Cam. We could have had years. Literal years. No. I’m done with this. It’s time to grow the fuck up.”

“Riley, please don’t do this,” I said, desperation mixing with my temper. “You know what we’re like. We should…be together when we can. You know? We should…”

“Just because we have the same kink, it doesn’t mean we should be risking the rest of our lives for it, Cam. I’m done.” Tears not only welled in his eyes, but in mine, too. “You should pursue the West Coast or East Coast or whichever fucking coast you prefer. And I’ll see whatever’s the best offer on the table for me. We were gonna do this all along, right? Why fucking pretend? Why live in false hope when this was always going to be the endgame?” He wagged his finger between us at the last question and I stepped closer to him.

“Because it’s good,” I snapped. “It feels fucking good to have you while we’re still here. I don’t know what’s gonna happen tomorrow. I don’t know where we’re gonna end up. All I know is this, seeing you makes me feel better when I’m down.” Tears rolled down my cheeks and I wiped them away furiously.

Riley’s lips contorted until he forced some calm back into his face. “And to go through this again in a month or two…nah. It’s not worth it, Cam. Better just move on. Sign on with Manning and I’ll make sure to choose another one so we can go as far apart as we can.”

If we don’t I’ll never get over you, I thought.

Much like he had never gotten over me in all the years. “Jesus, Riley,” I whispered.

“Don’t,” he said and stepped back. “Just move on, Cam. Of all people, you should have the easiest time doing that.”

As he stepped back, anger flared in me at that jab. “Don’t be an asshole.”

“Tsk. Just being brutally honest,” he said. “And minding my own business.”

“Fine.” The word tore out of me like the dirtiest curse ever put to sound. I spun away from him and marched back, concealing the further oncoming tears with throaty growls. I didn’t go directly to the house. Instead, I walked around, as far from Riley’s jogging route as I could think of.

Riley had just broken up with me. Ah, but it probably didn’t qualify as a breakup. We’d only been fucking for a few months and we had been public about it for slightly longer than a catnap.

It felt like a breakup.

It felt like shit.

My heart was sinking and sinking and whenever I thought it had crashed at the bottom, it only fell through it and sank further. My stomach was restless, yet it felt hollow and bottomless. My eyes stung with the saltiness of my tears as much as the cold breeze rising over campus.

It wasn’t just heartbreak. It was hardly that when we’d built our entire relationship on running away from serious conversations. But it was the profound sense of loss that ripped my soul right out of my chest.

It was the loneliness that had only ever taken a little nap and was now well rested to resume its job of tormenting me until the end of my days.

I could see it. I could see myself as a washed up hockey player who’d had all this potential and had lost it somewhere along the way when his will to live left him. I could see myself failing at everything all of the time.

I could see myself sitting in some place I called home, feeling nothing, and speaking to no one. I would be alone. Always and forever, I would lick my wounds and wonder what had ever happened with that Riley Brooks who I’d placed in the center of my world for a short while.

But I got exactly what I had coming. I’d done this to him. I’d taught him this trick. It was only fair that he would pull the same card on me when the clock struck midnight.

I made my way back to the house, where I spent the next two days barely leaving my room. The only time I actually left for any sort of commitment was for drills. And there, I was as clumsy as a puppy placed on ice for the first time in his life. I was as useful to the team as a drunk man without a day’s training in hockey. And Riley…