Page 4 of Arctic Titans of Northwood U: Volume 1

I didn’t answer.

“You don’t get it.” His tone was far more accusatory now and that felt like a goddamn glowing rod of iron branding my ass.

“I don’t get it?” I spun to look at him, my eyes stinging. I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry, so I blinked fast and bared my teeth. “For years, I followed you, Captain, and never doubted you. Everyone told me to give up hockey and do something with my life, but I persisted. It was just you, me, and hockey. And nobody except you gets it. They all think I’m a failure. Just another dumb guy skating on ice. I know what it feels like when you want to run away, Cam. I’ve been dreaming of running away for years and it’s finally here. I just never realized I’d have to do it alone.”

Cam bit his lower lip and looked down, his body swaying shortly toward me like he was going to hug me. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to survive it. Instead, he whispered: “I’m really sorry.”

And that was it.

Cameron Martinez turned to the door and walked out without a goodbye.

Somewhere on the other side of the house, he was greeting my parents on his way out. It was a horrible reminder that I needed to march out of the safety of my room and eat my lunch with them like everything was normal.

They didn’t know. They could never know what had just happened to me.

And I had to sit with them and pretend like nothing had happened. Like my soul was intact and pieces of my heart weren’t scattered all over the place.

My fingers trembled as I rushed to my bedroom door and shut it, inhaling deeply and holding that breath for as long as I could. It slowed my heartbeat, but it did nothing to the welling sob in my chest.

I bit my lip until I could taste iron, then growled and channeled all my emotions into anger. Anger I could use. Anger was good. It burned and purified. It killed when it needed to.

Like a rotting limb, I needed to amputate this brimming sadness and the only way I knew how was with hatred. It was the easiest one to find so quickly. So I did.

On the other side, numbness awaited.

Chapter One

RILEY

You knew you accomplished something if it hurt like hell. And today, it hurt like hell.

I tore off my shoulder pads, muscles searing. The scent of sweat and ice filled my nose as the team shuffled around the locker room. Sticks were clattering here, helmets bumping there. There were more than a few satisfied grunts as the guys filled the space of the locker room and experienced the same sort of high I did.

I was peeling off my scratched knee pads when a hand slapped my shoulder and shook me. “Awesome work, Cap,” said the familiar voice of my roommate and assistant captain, Caden.

“Right back at you.” The gleam on his face that came with sweat and pride was there as usual. The guy was bursting with talent and energy. One year into college hockey and Caden had proved himself to the point that Coach Murray named him my assistant, to my delight, at the end of last season. Today, Caden had soared like he was trying to prove something. “Keep it up and I see captaincy in your near future.”

Caden lifted his hands shyly and shook them. “I won’t mutiny while you’re around, Cap.”

A snort from my left caught my attention and I shot a glare at Beckett. “Knock it off, Partridge.” It was true that my time was running out. I had captained the team last year and we had gotten so close to the championship, only to fall short of bringing home the cup. This was my last shot before graduating. And that meant handing over the reins at the end of this season, hopefully with a cup to show for the time I had spent as an Arctic Titan.

“Hey, if you like guys sucking up to you, Cap…”

“Seriously, Partridge,” Caden growled and Beckett grinned, lifting his hands in surrender and stepping back. “Ignore him,” Caden said to me.

I sucked my teeth. “You ignore him. He’s just being provocative.”

Caden snickered and nodded, then marched into the shower. I was the last to get there and the last to leave, stopping at Coach Murray’s office on my way from the drills.

“Good job, Son,” Coach said from his desk, typing something at the computer before lifting his steely, determined gaze to meet mine. “If you keep up the team spirit like this, we may take home that cup.”

The sting of last year’s defeat appeared in me. It had been my loss for the entire team. I’d had it. I’d been skating through the Breakers’ defenses, feeling like I was at the top of the world. I’d seen the victory before me and it had blinded me to their sneaky little bait and switch maneuver.

“You gotta stop beating yourself up over it, kid,” Coach Murray said, his voice pitched high and raspy, but always the most dominant in the room. We shared a quiet moment of understanding, then Coach moved onto the reason he had invited me in here. “Over the rest of the week, we’ll have four new team members joining the Titans. I want you to bring them up to speed.”

My eyebrows trembled for a brief moment.

Coach brushed one side of his mustache with the back of his index finger. “Unofficially, of course. Show them how we do it at Northwood. Gym, drills, rink. Walk them through it, son. They’ll respect you for it.”