Page 35 of Arctic Titans of Northwood U: Volume 1

“Not exactly,” I said. “They didn’t say anything. That’s the part that bothers me, ya know? They just sort of nodded, said the mandatory happy wishes, and ceased asking me about my love life. Before that, they kept pestering me about having a secret girlfriend and so on. Afterwards? Nada. Not once did they ask me if I had a boyfriend. It’s hockey all over again. They disapprove, sure, but it’s not the quiet sort of disapproval. They just gave up on me. First in my profession, then in my romantic life. The closest they ever got to commenting was when they hinted my brother would be the only one to give them grandchildren.”

“Oh, shit,” Cameron muttered.

“Yeah.” It was more a sigh than speech.

We sat in silence for a time, then Cameron licked his lips and inhaled reluctantly. “To answer the question, no. I’ve got no plans for Christmas.”

“You’re not going home?” I asked.

He ogled me like I was speaking in tongues. “Riley, I haven’t been there in over three years.”

“What? Not once?” I asked.

Cameron slouched slightly. I almost missed it, except that he suddenly appeared smaller in every way. “You know what they’re like,” he said.

I knew vaguely. We had never covered the details. Cameron had never wanted to talk about it and I had never been brave enough to insist. “I’m not sure I do.”

He thought about this for a moment, then closed his eyes like he was giving up. “Of course. I never…” He pulled his eyelids back up and directed his blazing brown gaze at me. “I never let you in.”

Words died on my tongue.

Cameron sank into the back of the sofa and dropped his gaze lower on my face, then at my hands sitting uselessly in my lap. “They never got along, Mom and Dad. Like, never ever. Since I could remember, they were fuming in different corners of the house. It was like growing up in a minefield. I had to stay neutral, you know? I had to be careful where I went while they were fighting. For years, it was just words aimed at hurting the other one and me running away from the crossfire. But Dad accused Mom of turning me against him and…” His voice stopped abruptly and I realized I had been holding my breath. Cameron blinked. “I never knew he saw me like that. That I was against him? What the fuck? But that doesn’t matter. They soon started throwing plates against the walls. Not at each other, but not aimlessly, either. Plates, cutlery, framed photos. All that shit was always broken at my place. Mom broke my computer screen. The only one I had until I moved away. Dad broke my first trophy. It’s in my room now. I glued it back together. And this gigantic Empire Strikes Back puzzle I put together…” He smiled like he was revisiting a very fond memory. But the smile soured. “I came back from your place one time, way before we…” I knew what he meant, so I just nodded for him to move the conversation along. “Yeah, er. I returned and found the puzzle scattered because they were fighting over my interests and Mom spitefully tore it apart because Dad accused her of indoctrinating me with puzzles. He was venomous. She wanted to prove him wrong even if it ripped me the fuck apart.” His growl faded out and I could see anger rising.

“Jesus, that’s so messed up,” I whispered. “I had no idea it was that bad.” I had my suspicions. He had angrily shown up on my doorstep when I was alone far too many times for me to completely miss the hints. But I hadn’t truly been there for him. “I wish I knew, then,” I admitted.

“Tsk. I’m glad you didn’t. That angry, eighteen-year-old Cam couldn’t stand compassion, Riley.” He was as blunt as I’d ever heard him with this. I had been his escape when he had needed it.

What did that make me, now? That was a question I didn’t dare to ask. “But the adult Cameron deals with it better, huh?”

“Better?” He shrugged indecisively. “I don’t know if this is better, but it’s different.”

I found that my left hand was restlessly touching my left knee. My nails were scraping along my jeans and I wanted to reach out to him with that hand, to take his, to make him feel better. As if touching his hand could make anything better. As if all those years of rage could be swept away with hand holding.

But I wanted to try, at least.

At that moment, the basement door opened, and Caden called. “Cap? You down there?”

“Yeah,” I said, balling my fists now that the moment was over. Cameron reached for the controller and lost himself in the game before I even turned around to look at Caden. “‘Sup?”

“Just… Merry Christmas,” Caden said with a smile. “To both of you. I’m on my way out.”

I hopped off the sofa and hugged my roommate goodbye, wished him a good time back home, and decided to leave Cameron to the game while I wandered around the quickly emptying team house.

Everyone had somewhere to go. Everyone had someone to be with. And, as I indulged in my pathetic feelings of loneliness, I realized that I also had someone to be with for Christmas. And he was downstairs.

We had the entire house to ourselves.

And holy shit if that didn’t make me smile.

Our Christmas Eve was met with few festive traditions. We had a full fridge of Coke and the entire day snowed enough to leave us holed up in the house. The dinner I prepared was amateurish at best, coming from various frozen packages that needed baking, boiling, or microwaving. But when Cameron appeared at the door to his room and saw me toiling away in the kitchen, his deep chuckle made my skin prickle. “What are you doing?”

I wiped my hands against my apron. “Can’t talk. Ruining Christmas dinner.”

“I see that,” Cameron said, swaggering out of his room and leaning against the huge kitchen island that separated me from the rest of the ground floor. “Is that mashed potatoes?”

A grin escaped me before I could suspend it. “Er…it’s the instant kind.”

“Brilliant,” Cameron said and I couldn’t decide if he was being sarcastic or not.