Page 14 of Arctic Titans of Northwood U: Volume 1

I grabbed a can of cold beer from a stoned senior and glanced around the house. Riley had disappeared from the gallery, so I went up to assume his place of the brooding overseer of things. Sipping every now and then, I leaned over the wooden railing and watched the party heat up. As people relaxed and music picked up its beat, I said goodbye to the last hopes of scoring something more than a bathroom quickie with the lights off. I was sober and, by the look of it, the only one in that state. And maybe I was an emotionless asshole, but I wasn’t exactly looking to lead some poor drunk guy on and have him puke all around.

I sighed to myself and scanned the room down below. People danced, which was nothing noteworthy, until I spotted him. He’d left here to get a drink and had no intentions of returning, it seemed. In fact, Riley was fully immersed in conversation with some guy I didn’t know. They were standing by the windows where a desperately thirsty plant was enduring the fraternity’s neglect. Riley laughed and even though he was too far in a loud environment, I knew he snorted mid-laugh. I’d heard him do it in the locker room and I remembered it more than a little from high school. I counted down from three and saw his cheeks turn a shade redder.

A long time ago, he had been blushing like that because of me. But that had never been real. Those had been the days of boyish fantasies and long Sunday mornings. That hadn’t been real life. The reality had always existed outside his bedroom door. Couldn’t he see that? Hadn’t he known?

Someone bumped into me in the gallery and it jerked me from my thoughts. My attention drifted from Riley’s reddening cheeks to his companion. He seemed about the same age as us, tall, dark haired and dark eyed. He was bulkier than Riley and wore a confident expression. I almost looked away and told myself not to care, but the guy leaned in and whispered something into Riley’s ear while lifting his dark gaze right at me. He seemed to have stumbled over his words, eyes glued to my glowering expression.

It was too late to look aside now. I would only come across as a creep. Instead, I let my frown deepen and forced the guy to look away. But as he did, he said something else to Riley, who spun so quickly that I didn’t have a moment’s warning.

Shit.

His blue eyes pierced me, draining oxygen from my lungs. He let his cold gaze linger on me until I felt frostbites. In the mess that unfolded in my head, I noticed Riley turning away and the guy touching his elbow.

I tried to lose myself in the crowd that dotted the gallery, but as I went deeper into the mass, the harder it was to move any further. Someone was carrying six cups of beer and tripping over his own feet. A girl was rushing past me in visible need of a bathroom after a few too many drinks. Three guys I’d never seen before were making out against a bedroom door, seeming more confused with the amount of limbs between them than aroused. As I rolled my eyes at the utter chaos, someone grabbed my shoulder and spun me around.

I sucked in a breath of air and frowned at Riley when he brought his face close to mine. “What’s your problem?”

“What? Get off me,” I grunted and pushed his hand off my shoulder.

“No,” he snapped and took my wrist in his hand, squeezing threateningly before releasing me. “Tell me.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I retreated two steps back. That was a mistake because I was pressing against the railing with my ass and had a furious guy rising on his toes and bringing his nose dangerously close to mine.

“Drop the act, Cameron,” he said, mocking me for wanting to use my full name. “I’m sick of your mixed messages. Why were you staring at Vaughn? And, while we’re at it, why did you tell our entire history to the biggest gossip on campus?”

I pressed Riley’s hard pecs with the tips of my fingers, pushing him lightly away so I could straighten my back. “I didn’t know Beckett was a gossip.”

“And you didn’t think to check before talking about our — what did you call it? — situation-ship in high school?” He cocked his head to one side and glared. “Is that what you tell everyone the moment you meet them?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“How am I ridiculous? Everyone knows we had a thing and I can’t talk to a guy without your brooding face scaring him off.” He pushed a few inches closer to me. It didn’t seem to bother him that he needed to look up when scolding me.

What bothered him was the laugh I barked out. “If that’s what it takes to scare a guy off, you’re better on your own.”

Riley’s fury escalated when I said that. And, upon reflection, I could totally see why. “That’s none of your fucking business,” he spat, his lips inches away from mine. It tightened my chest and made my body tingle with an odd mix of excitement and fear. Not that I was afraid of Riley. He could bark all he liked. But I couldn’t shake this feeling off. I’d had it so many times in the month we had spent clashing on ice, at the gym, and in the locker room. “Maybe I should decide who’s worth my time and who isn’t.” He gave me such a pointed look that there was no mistaking his meaning. I wasn’t worth his time.

And yet, here he was, inching closer into me. I straightened, practically threatening him with physical contact if he didn’t step back. He did, but only enough so we wouldn’t touch. “Riley, I wasn’t trying to scare your boy toy away,” I said flatly. “It would be a very pathetic thing to do.” And yet, the nerve of that guy to just put his hands all over Riley bugged me more than words could say.

“I wouldn’t put it past you,” he muttered.

I narrowed my eyes, deciding not to give him the pleasure of knowing I might have had a zing of jealousy. A long time ago, he had been mine, even if that pipe dream never could have lasted. “That’s rich coming from someone who got all flustered over my Grindr message.”

Riley’s cheeks reddened. “I didn’t… That’s not…”

A moment of confusion was all I needed to round on him and swap our positions. It had been too long since the last time I was in control. Three years of distance and a month of me keeping my head low gave Riley some ridiculous fancies about this power dynamic. Pressed against the railing and with nowhere to go, he jutted his chin out in defiance that did little to soften me. I leaned in, fearlessly allowing my body to press against his even though his heat on me was the last thing I needed. “You’re forgetting yourself, Brooks,” I growled into his ear. “Maybe you have had your skates licked too much since your captaincy, but don’t expect me to follow along. I’m not someone you can boss around, Riley. Or did you forget that?”

The heat that radiated off his body seemed to rise by ten degrees in the next instant. He was still. As I pulled back from his ear, I glanced down and noticed the goosebumps along his neck. His blue eyes were wide, black eyebrows high on his brow in surprise. He licked those red lips quickly and recuperated enough to frown at me. “We’re not those boys anymore,” he huffed. “As you keep reminding me.”

For the briefest of moments, it felt like firecrackers went off in my chest. I didn’t want to dive into the useless talk of why things had gone this way or that way. None of that mattered. The facts were as plain as they could be. I’d broken off whatever it had been that we’d had and Riley was far more butt-hurt about it. Had I not done it, he would have dumped me sooner or later. Or we would have turned into a horribly codependent couple. And that would have been worse than what had actually happened.

But right now, as we entered an impromptu staring contest, jitters filled me. The memory of those Sundays blazed before my eyes. Riley’s skinny frame that made him the butt of all the jokes on our high school team and the fierce desire to do anything and everything in the two hours of privacy we’d had each week; the fire that burned in him to this day had once been directed to the sweetest, most exciting acts of pleasure. And, as I glared at him now, I could see that it had never truly gone out. He was just as feisty, but not nearly as skinny as he had been in high school.

Where the years had worn me down, they’d only shaped him into someone far more cocky. And, admittedly, handsome. The momentary temptation to seek common ground with my oldest friend and first flame just because there existed such a bright passion somewhere behind his cold glare was hard to push aside.

I held my breath just so I wouldn’t wheeze before him. It took me a moment to find my voice again and pitch it low. And there, I went in for the kill. “You’re right. We’re not those boys anymore. You’d better keep that in mind. If I could break your heart so easily at eighteen, what do you think I’m capable of after three years of booze and sex and deprivation?”

His expression melted into some blend of horror and hatred. He detested everything about me as plain as day. And it was just simpler that way. But he managed to squeeze out a few more words. “For you to hurt me, I’d need to give a fuck, Cam. But you’ve taught me how to not care.”