Page 126 of A Requiem of Fire and Ice

Fuck me. What the fuck am I going to do with her?

Chapter 52

Pandora Hart, July 31st

Reen enters my room every morning, his hands on my shoulders and waist. He asked for this, and I agreed. For me, it was another reason to get closer to someone who makes my heart beat and to get used to caring hands touching my body.

Afterwards, we play a game. He has brought a new one every day since we started our journey to Oceanview Harbour. This morning, we played Monopoly, and he took all my money and bankrupted me. Still, every game he brings is another memory burning into my core.

I’m alone now, bored and roaming the ship. It makes me curious when he leaves with Alad and Astin to do business in their conference room. Something tells me that Reen has a lot of jobs to do when he returns to the Kingdom of Flesh. So…where the fuck does that leave me?

My stomach churns as I remember what he said four days ago. He’s got something up his sleeve that sends me on edge and also fucking annoys me. Reen’s mind, from what I’ve witnessed, is complex. He’s a hunter at heart, so turning that switch off is challenging when he has a kill in mind.

Even with the days and nights spent together, he still sees me as someone to hunt. It hurts, maybe a little, but I can’t get mad at someone with the same mindset from the beginning. I’m also the fucking one who created this deal.

I can change it if I want to, and all would be right…right? If I tell him I want to be a Knight of Eraminia, would he not want to kill me? But do I want to be a knight? Despite all that has happened, I want a life for myself. Not trapped within tall walls, fucking having knights, guards, and Alad following me, watching my every movement.

It’s suffocating.

“Shit,” I mutter.

I want my freedom. Desmond’s words come back to me, and they ring true. No matter how much I’m falling for Reen, it’s not enough for me to be some damsel locked away behind hundreds of doors or risking my life repeatedly as a knight. I’m done with it all and want a different life from what my parents envisioned.

I want my life. One to be proud of.

Why the fuck can’t Reen do the same for himself?

We could roam around Eraminia, explore islands and fuck our way to early graves. Except that the way he speaks of his brothers, especially King Walkyer, he can’t leave them. He can’t leave that life.

It’s frustrating, and I need to stop thinking about it and do something to distract myself. Yet, what is there to do on a ship, isolated and with no one else around?

Moving down the stairs, my eyes roll toward the conference room. I bite my lower lip, contemplating whether I should go in without a care and listen. In the end, I decided not to…go inside.

I press myself against the wall, close my eyes, take a deep breath in and then out until all other sounds fade and the voices inside float through the cracks, seeping through my ears. Initially indistinguishable, their tone of voice becomes apparent after a few more sentences.

“Reen,” Alad says, his voice firmer, almost chastising, “just tell King Walkyer to place you in a contract. You never break obligatory contracts.”

Through the voices, I smile at the rapid tapping. Reen must be deep in thought.

“You obviously care for the girl,” Astin says, his voice devoid of emotion. “And she is madly in love with you.”

I make a face.

I wouldn’t go that far…right?

“Convince her to become a knight, and the two of you can stay together.”

Reen sighs. “I will not push her to do anything she doesn’t want to do. As for contracts, I don’t want any with Pandora. I thought so at first, but with her, I will not do that shit. And I doubt they will work now. Every moment spent with her is beginning to become painful. The urge to kill her comes more prominently—especially when we’re intimate.”

Motherfucker, when was he going to tell me that? All this time, we've been doing the dance with no pants, and he has had urges to kill me? Fuck me…

“Even if she dies at the end of it?” Alad says disapprovingly.

“At this given time, she has a higher chance of killing me than I killing her if we proceed with what we agreed to,” Reen says. “Besides, when we get to Oceanview Harbour, I’m giving her⁠—”

“She’s listening,” Astin drawls.

“Fuck!” I breathe.