Page 116 of A Requiem of Fire and Ice

“Very well. It will take me a moment,” she says, strained and irritable.

My smile falters, and I glare at her when she turns away and moves through a set of double doors.

“What made you angry?” Astin asks.

“He’s not a mutt. Psycho, fuck yes, but I’m over the word ‘mutt’ when they know nothing about him.”

After a few minutes, the woman emerges, holding a dress. She tells me to change, and when I enter the changing room, I face away from the mirror to undress. The dress she handed me feels silky against my fingertips when I step into it. My arms move through the long sleeves, drenching me in the crimson colour.

It’s cut into a V shape at the front, and because I lack breasts, it smooths across without a nipple slipping. The dress exposes my legs from the knees down, flowing like rippling water until it drags on the floor. And when I’m dressed, I step out to Astin and the woman waiting for me.

“What do you think?” I say.

Astin is silent, fixated on the doors and the elemny outside the window.

The woman touches my shoulder, turns me around, and slides up the zipper until the dress hugs my bust and hips. Then we turn again, and I stare into the mirror. My fingers twitch, and my eyes dart anywhere but at my body.

She laughs. “You aren’t even looking.” The woman touches my chin. “Look.”

My focus snaps to the mirror, but with every moment, the dress strips away, burning into ash, like what happened that night. They quickly ripped what I wore and gripped my skin, hungry to humiliate and torture me.

I’m going to be sick.

I step away from the mirror, laugh nervously, and say, “I will take it.”

After I change, Astin pays for the dress and carries it back to the ship. When I head up the stairs, Prince Reen moves down them while Alad rambles about not killing anyone tonight and leaving it up to him and Astin to deal with. He eyes me, but when his unsettling and intense gaze grazes across my face, I turn away and hasten my steps until I am in the room. I lock the door behind me before Astin can enter with the dress.

Deep breaths, Pandora. You can do this.

I’m okay with mirrors. At least mirrors that show my face. Anymore becomes a constant reminder of how much I hate how I look and feel, and the burns that show me how weak I am to a world that wants me dead.

I enter the bathroom, close the door, go to the sink and splash cold water across my flushed, burning face. Shit. I need to keep it together for tonight. Suppose I screw this up for Prince Reen on a crucial mission sent from the King. I doubt I will make it past tonight.

Leaving the bathroom, my hand tightens on the handle. Prince Reen leans against the door to my room. His watchful, glowing red eyes never leave me when I close the door to the bathroom and sit on the bed.

“How did you get in?”

He twitches a smirk. “I have my ways. But I am more…interested…in knowing what has upset you.”

I face away from him. My hands tighten on my knees, and I press my lips inward and blink away the tears. It’s fucking hard being in his presence. In front of someone who can see me break before I crumble first. I don’t want to be weak when he’s around. Not because I’m afraid that he will exploit it for his gain.

No.

I’m afraid of falling for someone I must kill again, like Desmond. And I’m so scared of loving someone before I can love myself.

“Do you find me attractive?” I ask.

“Yes.”

“What part of me do you find attractive?”

His warmth flurries around me when he grows near. Prince Reen takes my hand and guides me until I stand. I focus on his chest, not daring to look at him when his thumb touches my lips.

“My mouth?” I question.

“No. Your words. Even through your vulgar words, I find them attractive.” His hand moves down, sliding across my hardened nipples. My eyes close, hitching breaths when his thumb swirls around it. “I enjoy imagining your entire breast in my mouth.”

“You call me flat-chested all the time.”