Page 74 of Secrets on Ice

“So … give me all the details about Nelly,” I ask her.

Cassidy makes a happy sound and burrows deeper into her pillow.

"Okay, so after you left, I went to get a drink, and he was just standing at the end of the bar by himself all tall and quiet and fricken handsome, and he whispers to me, ‘Did you have fun kissing me before, because I did. I can’t stop thinking about it.’" She snorts. “It was so hot.”

"He didn’t."

"He did. And I nearly died, and then I said yes, and he whispered to meet him on the beach.”

“Oh my gosh.” I gasp.

“Right. There was no one around and …”

“And what?” I ask her.

“I had my first orgasm in months.”

I squeal. “What do you mean?”

“Things may have, you know, gotten heated, and um … the man is very giving with his tongue.”

My cheeks flush. “You didn’t?”

“I feel like a new woman, Em. Also, Trevor never made me come like that.” She giggles.

“We know why,” I mumble.

“Oh, my god. Is that why he never wanted to go down on me?” Cassidy gasps.

“Trevor didn’t do that too?” I ask her.

“Hardly ever. He said I took too long.”

“Kevin said the same thing.”

“Shit, the signs were all there.” She sighs.

“Guess they were,” I say, staring at the ceiling.

“We’ve been missing out, Em. One night with a man who wanted me, wholeheartedly, even if it was just for a moment. I realize how much I wasn’t getting out of my marriage and how much was missing. I don’t know how to explain it, until you experience it for yourself, Em.”

She has no idea. And she’s right, the way Sully kissed me, I’ve never been kissed like that, well, not in a long time anyway. And it felt good, so good, but then the guilt hit me and the shame because it feels like I’ve moved on too quickly. I mean, what is the correct amount of mourning time on a marriage when the partner cheats? None, they cheated. That is true. Also, you shouldn’t feel guilty, you’ve done nothing wrong. Except kiss my best friend’s brother.

“Maybe one day.” The lie falls easily from my tongue.

“Hopefully one day soon.” She giggles.

18

SULLY

Igave up on sleep around dawn and went for a run instead, out along the harbor road and back, which fixed exactly nothing but at least gave the ceiling a break from being stared at. The hotel is just waking up when I get back, and I shower, change, and head down to the lobby, where the rest of my crew is assembling in pieces. Bouch is slumped in an armchair wearing sunglasses indoors with a coffee in each hand, both for him. Nelly is at the window looking rested and cheerful, which Bouch is taking personally. And then the elevator opens, and the girls come out, Cassidy mid-story about something, and Ember behind her in a sundress with her hair up. She says good morning to the lobby in general, to Bouch, to Nelly, to the woman at the front desk, but not to me.

"Shuttle's here," Nelly reports, and we pile in for the ride out to the house. Everyone is chatting away about last night, but I watch Ember, who seems quiet this morning, stare out the shuttle’s window, looking out over the Atlantic as we drive along the coast. The boys think I’m hungover, so they don’t pull me into any conversations, thankfully, and I can pretend I’m looking out the window while watching Ember.

Look, I get what happened last night was … unexpected, and she might be embarrassed, but shutting me out like she is stings, but also, I thought we were better friends than that. Guess not.

Man, give her a break. She’s only just separated from Kevin after a lifetime, she can be freaked out.