Page 34 of Maneater

“No, Kade. It doesn’t have anything to do with me being offended. I’m more worried that you’ll be the one who’s offended. Although I’m counting on our lengthy friendship to help you be understanding.”

Kade freezes mid-chip grab. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“I’m trying to tell you something I was too scared to say before.”

My giddy tone has vanished.

Kade frowns and lets out a huff. “We tell each other everything.” His eyes narrow. “Don’t we?”

I drag my fingers through my hair. “For the most part, yes. It’s just…” Ugh. Out with it already. “I met a guy. And we’re seeing each other.” I swallow hard. “You know. Seeing seeing.”

His jaw goes slack, and he tosses the chip bag aside. “Is that why Gia left you?”

“No!” I press my lips together. “I never said anything to her either. And before you ask, no. That’s not why I broke up with her. I really do tell you everything, for the most part.” I lower my gaze and pick at the blanket. “Being attracted to guys is something I’ve kept to myself.” I shrug. “I didn’t think I’d ever follow through with it, so I didn’t see the point in bringing it up.”

Kade tilts his head. “Did you think I wouldn’t want to be friends anymore, or I’d be pissed at you or something?”

I fall back against the pillows. “I dunno. I guess. I’ve always dated or had relationships with women, so I guess I figured you wouldn’t understand.”

Kade sits silently, and my stomach churns. I don’t want to lose the friendship of the person closest to me. But I can’t lie to myself any longer either. Not anymore. Not since I’ve met Rex. If Kade is homophobic, that’s on him. Not me.

At last, Kade speaks, “I feel kind of bad that you didn’t think you could confide in me.” He scratches the back of his head, his brow creasing. “I guess it’s because I’m an asshole.”

“What?” I smack my forehead with my palm. “No, I don’t feel that way about you at all.”

He hugs himself, his head hanging. This is not a side of him I’ve ever seen.

“No, for real. I fucked up.” Kade’s voice quavers. “If I teased you hard enough that you were afraid to confide in me, then I’m exactly what I said I am. A complete asshole.”

“Well…maybe not a complete asshole.”

One corner of his mouth lifts as if he might smile, but his tone stays melancholy. “Don’t give me a hall pass on this one, dude.” He finally raises his eyes. “I’m sorry. That was wrong of me. Something I need to work on.”

I smile, his words making the pressure in my chest ease up. “Thanks, I appreciate that.”

He seems to have relaxed as well. “Okay, time for more true confessions.” Kade crosses his arms. “I haven’t been completely real with you either.”

“Oh?” I wasn’t expecting this.

“Yeah, so I think I act the way I do because I’m insecure.” He winces. “And just saying that out loud makes me feel like shit. Although, I spend most of my life not dealing my feelings, so there’s that too.” He lets out a heavy sigh. “I’m a mess.”

“Hey, It’s all right. I’m sure you probably worry that you’ll be teased for expressing your emotions.” I shake my head. “That’s such a dude thing.”

Kade jabs his finger at the screen. “That's exactly it. Remember Jordan and his cronies on the football team when we started high school, all the names they called us? The way they’d follow us around, taunting us and using those slurs about women and gay guys that I definitely don’t want to repeat.”

I gasp. Man, I’d buried that freshman experience deep in the recesses of my mind. Kade bringing it up is like a punch to the gut.

“Holy shit. I forgot about that.”

“So, no excuses, I know I was wrong. But I think that might be when it started.”

“What started, exactly?”

As long as we’re being forthcoming with each other after all these years, I don’t want to make any assumptions.

“Trying to be tough, be a so-called man. Like, I had to act a certain way so I wouldn’t be called those names anymore.”

“I understand.”