Page 75 of Chasing Gold, Catching Her

Anfisa smiled and wrapped one arm around her shoulders, awkwardly because they were both still sitting in their chairs, and Alisa leaned into her side for a second and hugged her back.

At that exact moment, one of the organizers came into the VIP box with a sheet of paper in his hands and pinned it to the door.

Everyone instantly jumped up from their seats and rushed toward it, almost pushing each other aside, because finally, finally, they would know the order for tomorrow’s short program.

Alisa came over one of the last and immediately found her name.

She would skate last, of course.

Then she quietly turned around and went to the locker room to change for one more training session, even though today she was completely on her own.

She wanted to skate slowly through her choreography, literally practicing every movement except, of course, the jumps. For those, she only skated into them and completed a single rotation to practice the blade itself and the landing. She did not want to push herself too hard, and today was simply about gliding across the ice to the music of her favorite composers…

Today, she repeated two choreographies in a row, and her soul literally soared with love for music, figure skating, and the choreography itself that had been created for her by coach and choreographer Dana.

* * *

Alisa slowly inhaled for four counts and exhaled for six, trying to calm her nervous, trembling fingers, but it helped poorly, because she was terribly nervous…

The last championship had been a disaster for her, and now she had to go out onto the ice again, alone. Her hands were shaking so much that she could hardly hold them still, and for one absurd second she even thought that maybe only a shot of vodka would help now… but of course she couldn’t take it, so she only clenched her teeth harder.

She was waiting for her name to be announced.

She did not watch the other girls’ choreographies before her performance, because she was afraid of losing her own mood, although she was not even sure she had any mood at all today.

From somewhere beyond the door, she could hear the other skaters leaving the locker room and stepping onto the ice. Then the applause rose, along with that familiar tension that always seemed to fill the entire arena before a performance, even though there were not that many people there today — mostly athletes, their families, coaches, and a couple of devoted fans who simply loved figure skating and often came to watch even local competitions. Because even if they only watched skating on TV or skated themselves once or twice a week, they still loved it, and it was still comforting to know that there would be an audience.

But today was only the short program, so there were fewer people than usual, or at least that was how it felt from inside the locker room, because Alisa herself had not entered the arena yet today. She had only arrived a couple of hours before her performance, managed to warm up, speak briefly with her coach and with Dana, who had hurriedly wished her luck and immediately run off to support the others.

Alisa pressed her lips together and lowered her head, still trying to breathe evenly, nervously twisting the cloth she used to wipe her blades between her fingers and staring at it so intently as if the whole world had suddenly narrowed down to that stupid little piece of fabric, to its threads and tiny fibers, which she began to count one by one. When suddenly the door opened and Anfisa came in together with Anastasia and the blonde.

All three of them were smiling, laughing about something, but as soon as they noticed Alisa sitting there alone, they immediately hurried over to her.

Anfisa crouched down in front of her almost at once, and her cheerful smile instantly turned into concern.

“What’s wrong, baby?”

“I’m just worried…” Alisa muttered quietly. “I haven’t skated alone for a long time… and it’s all a little terrifying.”

“It’s okay! Listen, there’s… there’s Lev and Hermann in the audience, they’re holding a poster with your face on it,” Anfisa answered immediately and giggled, while Anastasia snorted so loudly that she nearly started laughing too. “They stretched your face out so weirdly!”

“Those assholes…” Alisa muttered, already imagining what kind of terrible photo they must have chosen.

“They came to support you, baby!”

And suddenly Alisa noticed that her hands were not trembling so much anymore, and somewhere against her will a smile appeared on her face.

“Well,” Anastasia nodded toward the door, “isn’t it your turn?”

“Come on, ni puha ni pera, malyshka!9” Anfisa said and hugged her tightly.

“Good luck!” the blonde added with a grin.

“To hell with it!”

It was an old saying, one that everyone in figure skating used before performances, because no one wanted to say “good luck” out loud and scare it away. But the blonde did it anyway.

Alisa took a deep breath, gathered all her courage somewhere inside herself and finally left the room. The arena suddenly seemed huge. For one second there was only noise, voices, applause, the bright light above the ice, and then everything went quiet, and the announcer’s voice rang through the entire arena: