Page 59 of Chasing Gold, Catching Her

Alisa did not sleep well, tossing and turning on the bed, but Tora’s embrace carried her into the fragile world of dreams, and every time anxiety and horror yanked her awake, Tora’s gentle strokes down her back soothed her back into sleep.

Around 5 a.m., Alisa discovered the bed empty and woke in sudden horror, only to find Tora sitting by the small table near the window, drinking coffee and gazing at the still-dark city, the open window letting in the cold morning air, mingling with the faint scent of sea salt, and for a fleeting moment, Alisa was taken aback, her mind transported to an old memory.

When she was six years old, she had once woken up at the unholy hour of five in the morning, a summer morning during holidays, when sleep still clung stubbornly to her eyelids, and wandered into the kitchen for water, only to find her grandmother sitting by the open window, drinking black coffee and staring out into the quiet expanse of space.

Alisa had approached softly and whispered, “Grandma, what are you doing here alone in the morning?”

“Oh, Alisa, moya ribka7, I’m meeting the sun here,” her grandmother had replied, her kind brown eyes smiling at her, the wrinkles at the corners of her eyes forming delicate lines like the petals of a flower, as she stroked Alisa’s head and nodded gently, “go back to sleep, moya ribka.” Alisa had left, stealing a glance at her grandmother bathed in the first rays of morning sunlight.

A tear rolled down Alisa’s cheek, sobbing, and Tora, noticing her awakening, immediately jumped up and sat on the bed beside her, leaving the coffee behind.

“Hey, why are you crying, babe?” she asked softly.

“I just…” Alisa’s throat tightened. “I just remembered something…”

Tora nodded, cupping her cheeks with both thumbs, wiping away the tears and kissing her gently on the lips. “It’s okay, we’ll figure it out together.”

“But… why… are we…?”

“We’re not dating? And nothing to each other?” Tora laughed softly, lying back on the bed, and Alisa only sniffed, the tears still clinging.

“Yes,” she said plaintively.

Tora shook her head. “If we were nothing to each other, you wouldn’t be lying in my bed right now.”

Alisa’s tongue pressed nervously against her teeth. “Then who are we to each other?”

“Well, it’s up to you. I’ve decided everything for myself a long time ago.”

What has she decided for herself? Could she just finish the sentence or say it clearly? Why all these unfinished things? Alisa pursed her lips nervously, letting out a low, frustrated growl. “I want to be with you, but we live in damn different countries and yet…”

“What else?” Tora asked, arching an eyebrow, tucking a lock of Alisa’s hair behind her ear.

“I can’t date you. They’ll put me in jail in Russia if they find out.”

“Oh, nonsense.”

“LGBT propaganda—twelve years in prison.”

“What?” Tora frowned, adding with irritation, “Are you serious?”

Alisa nodded, swallowing nervously, pursing her lips, unable to tear her gaze from Tora’s plump lips and the bright, crystalline blue of her eyes, like the turquoise waters of the Aegean Sea. “I understand the tension, but we’ll figure something out.”

“Same sex relationships are allowed in Norway,” Tora said.

“I’m not Norwegian,” Alisa replied, clenching her jaw. “Slightly different passport.”

“We’ll figure something out if you want to be with me.”

“I do.”

“Then we’ll figure it out. But for now…” Tora smiled. “Down with the tears. A new day, a new you.”

“Feel like a brand new person, but same old mistakes.”

“But I don’t care, because I’m in love.”

Alisa smiled as they almost echoed the lines from the song New Person Same Old Mistakes, and Tora bent down to kiss her, clutching her face in both hands. Alisa closed her eyes, savoring the moment she had longed for, a few weeks since the championships had separated them, and feeling the aching joy of finally being together again.