Page 33 of Chasing Gold, Catching Her

They kissed until they were both breathless, until the room spun and the world narrowed to the taste of each other’s mouths. And even then, Tora couldn’t get enough.

“Why didn’t you write to me for almost a month…?” Alisa recoiled slightly, staring with her brown eyes, whose pupils seemed like black holes, directly into Tora’s blue ones.

And honestly, Tora did not know what to answer.

That she had been busy with training?

That would only have been an excuse.

Maybe she had simply been afraid to write first, afraid of how much she wanted Alisa already, afraid of frightening her away.

“I thought you would run away and get scared of how persistent I am.”

Alisa let out a short laugh.

“Well… you were not.”

She pressed her lips together, but said nothing.

Tora lifted her chin with one hand, forcing Alisa to look back at her instead of lowering her eyes to the floor.

“Are you afraid of your lesbian feelings?” she asked with a smile.

Alisa’s heart immediately began pounding somewhere in her throat.

“I told you, I’m not into girls.”

Now it was Tora’s turn to laugh.

“And yet you’re here, in my room. You didn’t come here to discuss the competition.” Her voice became quieter, lower. “You came here because you wanted me. And I’m a girl, and you’re a girl, which means—”

Alisa did not let her finish. She squeezed her eyes shut.

“Don’t call it that. Let’s not label it, it’s easier that way.”

“Easier how?” Tora narrowed her eyes slightly and took Alisa gently by the neck, brushing her hair away from her skin.

Why did such a small touch make goosebumps spread all over her body?

Alisa’s skin reacted to Tora instantly, treacherously. She let out a long breath. It was obvious she was fighting with herself.

“I’m not a lesbian. I’m not a lesbian.”

“Why do you deny it so much?” Tora asked quietly, still stroking her neck with her thumbs. “What’s so terrible about it?”

“I…”

Alisa hesitated for a long moment.

“Well… since I was a child I’ve been taught to hate people like that. That it’s shameful to be like this.”

“Are you ashamed?”

Tora truly did not understand it.

She had never understood this hatred towards being a lesbian. To her, women had always seemed beautiful, something almost unreal, something closer to art than anything else. Not something shameful. Never shameful.

“You…”