Page 133 of Chasing Gold, Catching Her

The universe had a cruel sense of humor, didn’t it? Alisa clenched her jaw so hard she felt pain on both sides. She didn’t just want to destroy everything in the arena, the entire ice surface, she wanted to raze the place to the ground.

How could she?

Alisa didn’t take her eyes off Tora.

Eyes off her girlfriend who had betrayed her, who had kept silent about the fact that they would be competing against each other. That they would be in the same category.

Did she hate me so much that she chose to compete for a medal in the only category where I could win one this year?

Alisa’s heart broke inside; the world exploded and shattered into atoms, as if the earth itself had been reduced to ashes. Nothing remained in Alisa’s heart anymore, there were only anger and sadness for the way life had treated her.

Alisa began to enter a quadruple toe loop, jumping very close to Tora. She took off, completing the necessary rotations, and landed so close to Tora that her leg was just a couple of centimeters from Tora’s face as she finished the landing and rode out of the jump, causing the entire arena to gasp and people to rise from their seats.

There they were. The rivals on the ice had returned to their positions again…

Tora managed to dodge and drop down slightly, bending forward, then stopped and stared at Alisa. She remained silent, just looking at her with an expression of frustration, sadness, and regret.

“Why are you here, Tora?” Alisa hissed, her voice trembling with anger.

“I’m competing in this category, so I’m here.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Alisa’s voice was so broken that Tora wanted to cry and leave, but she couldn’t back down. She closed her eyes for a moment, forcing herself to focus, preventing her emotions from taking control of her body.

“Do you want to steal this medal from me too? The one I’ve been dreaming of? You already have gold in pairs, are you fucking kidding me?!” Alisa raised her voice, and the skaters around them stopped to watch the drama unfolding on the ice. “You already have gold in pairs, what more do you need?!”

Alisa was furious, but Tora didn’t say anything. Instead, she turned away and continued practicing in silence. The entire arena felt tense, and the judge’s voice echoed through the microphone, announcing that it was forbidden to talk on the ice and that the skaters must remain silent or risk disqualification.

“Poshla nahui, Tora. Ya nenavizhy tebya.,”15 Alisa hissed to herself in Russian through gritted teeth. She clenched her jaw so hard it ached, and although she wanted to cry, now was not the time to give in to emotions.

So she held herself together, jaw tight with pain, and as she entered a camel position, a tear slipped down her cheek, but at that speed, the wind created by her spin wiped it away, as if erasing the evidence of her breakdown.

Alisa felt utterly disappointed in everything, as if she had been betrayed by life itself, and she didn’t know how to respond properly. She hated everything. She hated everyone.

The anger kept rising inside her more and more.

“Last minute warm-up,” the judge’s voice announced.

Alisa exhaled as she came out of the spin and went into another jump, landing it cleanly again. Then she moved forward, lifting her leg high in front of Tora, the blade catching the spotlight as it sliced through the air beside her like a warning, like a threat.

Her eyes locked onto Tora with something almost murderous in focus.

She would destroy her today. To hell with everything.

* * *

Alisa was left alone on the ice, not even looking in the direction of Tora, who had already disappeared behind the arena. With a blank expression and no smile, she skated toward the center of the rink where her short program would begin.

And then, as if the universe was mocking her, the music started. Alisa surrendered immediately to the emotion that swallowed her whole, burning through her from the inside out.

‘Change by Deftones’ began to play, the deep pulse of the guitar filling the arena, and Alisa began her performance.

She bowed her head and glided forward on one blade, knee softly bent, her upper body folding into the movement before she lifted her head back and closed her eyes, covering them briefly with both hands as if trying to block out the world.

Then she rose into a clean line, opening her arm across the ice as if pointing through the arena itself, and continued forward on a deep edge, turning sharply on one foot, her free leg and arms lifting together in a wing-like motion that cut through the air.

She entered a twizzle, hands briefly covering her face, then transitioned into quick back steps, rotating lightly on her axis, building speed. The first jump came fast, her opening quadruple salchow.